Posted on 03/10/2018 6:29:15 AM PST by beebuster2000
The MAN has his Bday today! 77!
Chuck Noris blood type is Type A-K47
Chuck Norris wears MAGA jammies on a side note he needs to let his hair go gray he looks silly
When the boogieman goes to sleep at night...he checks under his bed......for Chuck Norris.
Marko
Chuck Norris does not travel. He shuffles his feet & makes the Earth rotate beneath them until he is where he wants to be.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet. It’s not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris does not use a condom, there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris doesn’t see dead people, he makes dead people.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars, that’s why there is no life there.
Happy Birthday Mr Chuck Norris!
Death had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
“Have never met Chuck himself but I’ve hung out several times with his brother Aaron.”
I saw Chuck Norris once in person. Now I see an inverted image of him whenever I blink.
My wife and I were on the same shuttle with Chuck Norris between terminals at LAX a number of years ago.
Amen!
Thanks for a good birthday belly-laugh.
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep - he waits.
Isn’t Birthday celebrating Chuck Norris?
I saw Chuck Norris once in person. Now I see an inverted image of him whenever I blink.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity…twice.
After a night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up, he throws down.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris chases sharks when he smells them bleed.
God can walk on water, Chuck can swim through land.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris grinds coffee with his teeth and boils water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris doesn’t write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris donates blood to the red cross, just not his own.
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
When Chuck Norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the world down.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris once had a boomerang. It was way too scared to come back.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris doesn’t celebrate the 4th of July. The 4th of July celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Ghosts sit around the camp fire telling Chuck Norris stories.
The Corona Virus is social distancing itself from Chuck Norris.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.