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*** Marvin - Christine Nelson **** (To the tune of “Funiculi, Funicula”)

Some think.. that kids should be in bed by seven..
and so do I.. and so do I!
But Marvin.. won’t go to bed before eleven..
he starts to cry.. and so do I!

One time, I thought I’d try to slip a mickey..
into his juice.. his orange juice!
I tried! But, oh, that kid is really tricky..
He switched the glass, so whats the use!

Marvin! Marvin! You’re a rotten kid!
Marvin! Marvin! Be like your brother Sid!
I’m getting grey, so go away.. now, just for once, do what I say!
Go and play in traffic.. don’t come back ‘till Saturday!

(So, go and play in traffic.. don’t come back ‘till Saturday!)

Some think.. that raising kids is so bucolic..
I always did.. I really did!
With Marvin.. I could become an alcoholic..
I almost did.. but he’s my kid!

We bought.. a car for him to ride to school in..
a Jag-u-ar, is that bizarre?
Then he.. insisted that we put a pool in..
not in the yard, but in the car!

Marvin! Marvin! You’re a rotten kid!
Marvin! Marvin! I’m gonna flip my lid!
Its such a sin, its such a crime.. you’re just so rotten all the time!
I wish that I could sell you, but I wouldn’t get a dime!

(I wish that I could sell you, but I wouldn’t get a dime!)

Some think.. that kids, today, are awfully thankless..
You ask me why? I’ll tell you why!
It stems from.. the fact, today, that kids are spankless..
And yet they cry, oh, how they cry!

We try.. to buy him everything we’re able..
We bought him clothes.. a brand-new nose!
.. Marvin! get out from underneath the table..
Your brand-new nose.. just ripped my hose!

Marvin! Marvin! You’re a rotten kid!
Marvin! Marvin! look at what you did!
Don’t break my heart, do as you’re told.. you know your mommy hates to scold!
Stop chewing on your teddy-bear.. you’re twenty-eight years old!!