My dad was outrageously emotionally verbally abusive. He thought it was his duty to deride, attack, undermine, etc. my personhood and confidence every day. He claimed it was the only way I could be made fit to be around.
He has required our mother and us 4 daughters to walk on egg shells around him 24/7 all our lives. Otherwise he instantly erupts into a literal 2-year-old-mentality-&-behavior FIT. We thought he was going to have a heart attack merely because my housemate left a phone message to my mother--or maybe it was an email. He was raging for hours--maybe days. I forget. But that's what I grew up with.
I was way to smothering of my kids. And, my husband running around on me early in our marriage didn't help my emotional or psychological health.
I have been extremely careful about boundaries the last 10+ years of my relationship with my adult kids. We have made progress. However, they still tend to keep me on a short leash even though I have NEVER pushed my boundaries with them or tried to impose my constructions or opinions on reality on them.
Both of them ended up liberals--largely from their black father's influences. Then my son took an admin job with a major corporation and began to see things differently. My daughter is beginning to see that the liberal constructions on reality don't quite fit. It doesn't help that she works in San Francisco.
about also wrong . . . sorry, I mixed you up with the other bloke in my head as I was writing that response.