I’m thankful for a friend who sends me humorous emails every day like this:
It’s late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota
asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the
old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’
‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold, ‘the
meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even
more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again.
‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’
‘Yes, ‘the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going
to be a very cold winter.’
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’
‘Absolutely, ‘the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is
going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’
‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked...
The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting a shitload of
firewood.”
And this:
10 Commandments
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”
Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”
The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”
Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”
With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh?”
Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left me hat.”
Good one!