They are just lulling you into a false sense of security.
You’ll be in your hammock thinking about Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass and one of those chickens will pull a switchblade on you.
Chickens are like short, feathery, tasty velociraptors.
Have you looked at their feet? I mean when they take their shoes off.
Those are some scary feet!
And don’t even get me started on their lips!
They can tear a lion to pieces with those chicken lips!
No thank you.
Not me.
There’s a reason they keep chickens in prison.
And it ain’t because they write bad checks.
They do, though.
Write bad checks.
Never take a check from a chicken unless it has two photo IDs.
The upside of chickens, though, is that while they are not as deadly as, say, laser guided nuclear weapons, they are far, and by far, a more effective deterrent to North Korean aggression than was the 14th Annual Berkeley Hills Bicycle Race.