I can’t stop laughing at your post!
A true story. Someone called me years ago to help her. She was waaay preggers and her husband got called into work unexpectedly. He didn’t want to leave her home alone so he left her at the home of his workmate whom he had to pick up on the way to work.
I could hear fear in her voice when she called, so I said I’d be right there.
Now, I’ve a had a pretty weird life and have seen a lot of weird things, but …
The home was off the highway and down a steep hill onto a very shaded lot. I could see two young girls, around 12 years old or so, whose white t-shirts were covered in blood. So too were their faces and their arms and their legs. I could see them flailing and flinging their arms about.
I couldn’t make sense of what I seeing, and was hesitant but also wanted to help them so drove up a little closer.
Then I could see more and could hear the squawking and carrying on.
They were throwing … seriously … live chickens at each other and having the time of their lives laughing and carrying on. I sat there stunned, not believing what I was seeing. Blood was flying everywhere. And the blood was from the girls, not the chickens.
It was then I had to decide if I really wanted to help the person who called; I started reevaluating our relationship. I DID NOT want to get any closer because I’d have to go by the girls to get her out.
My heart got the better of me and I got out and walked cautiously around them and the chickens hurtling through the air, and said, “Look. I’m going in to get “Jane”. She’s very, very pregnant. You throw one of them *&^%%$ when she walks past and I’ll wring your damn neck right off your shoulders, you hear?” If you could’ve seen one of these girls you’d know why I spoke that way – which under no other circumstances could I ever. There wasn’t much going to scare a couple of girls who didn’t mind playing toss the live chickens.
Sounds like my family reunion last July.
We heave all kinds of animals at each other.
My cousin Mike threw a emu at me.
I didn’t even know what an emu was.
Dang near took my head off.
I got him back.
I threw a possum at him.
It was a 9mm possum.
He always was the fastest cousin.
Not the brightest, though.
My cousin Marty is the smart one.
He can do quadratic equations, whatever the heck those are.
He tried to be the next Evil Knievel.
He was in Las Vegas and going to jump like twenty buses.
You should have seen the looks on the bus drivers faces.