>>>The hate and insults on all American ladies due to individual experiences in some of these posts are unjust enough to run some folks off. Please be aware there are a great deal of very good women - even good single ladies, in America and especially on FR. I know it is hard for men and women both to meet good people. <<<
Of course there are good women. It’s the good marriages that we all see that make us get married in the first place. Unfortunately that good marriage is a small fraction of the whole. Conventional wisdom is a 50% chance of divorce. Of the marriages that last many men are trapped in a bad marriage that is best described as “cheaper to keep her”. And somewhere between 10% to 20% of marriages will end up being sexless. So I’m pessimistic about the odds of a man finding a “good woman.”
You want to say there are good women. That’s not the issue. The issue is that such a large number of women change into something radically different. Listen to unhappily married or divorced men and that is pretty common. She was one way when we married, then she changed into (something he didn’t like at all). Simultaneously he is expected to keep working, being loving, being a good father and sharing the household chores. Gosh, the responsibilities stayed the same and his wife has become one of the “bad ones.”
The real problem comes into play once the marriage has hit a rough patch. Most men are going to tolerate it. They are not going to have affairs and then leave the wife. 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Family courts reward a woman for divorcing for any reason. Half the assets, a chunk of the man’s pension, child support up until they graduate college and possibly spousal support. Thus the unhappy woman knows she can exit with cash and asset: Even if she cheated and caused the divorce. An unhappy man knows there is a price to be paid to do the same. Thus the man is penalized for being a dog or penalized if his wife was acting badly. It’s a lose lose situation for the man.
My opinion is the good women, who are not going to turn on you and be affected by the feminism in the culture, are increasingly hard to find as they get married off. As they are good wives, they don’t get divorced much. If a man doesn’t snag one of these women up young, his odds of a good marriage is pretty low. That is not treating women unjustly. That is men being logical. Your instinct might be to say not all women are like that. Well 50 shades of grey says that there are too many women out there who are steeped in our culture and are damaged goods as a result of it.
And from Britain, half the women report having a back up husband: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/02/backup-husband_n_5923700.html
I’m sure that dynamic is here too in America.
You can be upset about men looking at the world and saying “women are just too risky.” It’s your life. But don’t expect men to believe that opinion is wrong.
Sorry to post so much later than your reply. Family member had a medical semi-emergency. Out of the woods now.
Anyways-—
I read the 50% divorce rate is a statistical myth based on the number of marriages per year being compared to the number of divorces. That it doesn’t take into account the real number of couples who actually stay married throughout their lives compared to the number of couples who divorce in their marriages. And being a ‘hopeful romantic’, I want to believe mature adults who once loved each other can respect each other enough to try their best to work things out. I think the biggest problem is expectations. And not realizing that ‘chemistry’ is more anxiousness or some type of fear. Or just pure sexual attraction based on temporary conditions. Honesty and non-rollercoaster highs and lows to some may sound boring. But I would think it would be extremely attractive to both parties. I also believe our wonderful pc culture is doing everything it can to bust up couples. Seeing past that together is one of the biggest battles. But maybe I am looking at things with rose colored glasses. Hey, I did say I am a hopeless/hopefull romantic.