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To: Jamestown1630

I think pairing off men and women in marriage is a zero sum game. You can’t increase the supply. I’ll illustrate by using polygamy. Pretend we lived in a culture where you could have up to four wives. Each time a man took a wife beyond the number one, he would be making it impossible for another man to get married. There would simply be an imbalance in the number of single men to single women in such a society.

I think there is an imbalance in the number of safe women for middle aged guys to marry. Ask any single man 35+ how many quality women are out there to marry. I think you will get one of two replies most often. 1) Not that many. 2) Why would I want to get married?


221 posted on 05/15/2017 7:19:35 AM PDT by BJ1
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To: BJ1

Your model considers women as if they were identical units of a commodity - like cans of peas on the grocery shelf. Perhaps 25 men want one, but there are only 20 cans on the shelf; so 5 men are SOL. And you’re pretty much considering men in the same way.

But all the “messiness” of human beings, their possibilities and dynamics within relationships, aren’t quantifiable or analyzable in that way. A woman who might be just right for one man, for instance, is going to be quite wrong for any number of other men, and vice-versa – and a lot of those men cut themselves out of the running anyway, just by the way they think, the attitudes that they hold, and what they ‘exude’ because of that – because of what they’ve decided to believe.

You also aren’t figuring-in the broad range of age possibilities available to men. (It happens that I married a younger man; but that is uncommon, and somewhat frowned-upon, while men marrying younger women has always been common and acceptable.)

Any man can rise out of the ‘zero sum game’ by DECIDING to, and changing his attitudes and convictions.

We can’t ‘save the world’ with regard to the issue of relationships; but we can scope-out the possibilities of bringing one good woman into one good man’s life – provided the man and woman both really want it. Whether it can happen starts with individual consciousness and attitude. One has to set himself, in attitude and belief, above all the other men who just want a can of peas – and above those who just don’t believe in possibilities anymore.

This isn’t a matter of taking something away from another man, but of being a man who can attract something that is right for *himself*. It’s about individuality, and the spiritual right of every individual to abundant life, if he can figure out how to Take It.

I think a lot of your ‘Red Pill’ guys don’t really want love and married happiness - they like the protective (even ‘superior’) feeling of ‘burned-but-wise-and-never-a-fool-again’. They’re in the seductive throes of Self Pity - a very insidious state which often disguises itself as logically or righteously ‘justified’.

But for those who may still cherish an ideal of happiness with a woman, devotion to the Ideal is the first important step toward achieving it.

You can’t nurture that devotion if you’re constantly going on about how lousy and dangerous things are for men these days, and living full of fear and doubt. And you can’t love a woman if you are always self-protectively calculating a way to have advantage or ‘power’ over her.

You can’t think of two things at once - you have to make a choice as to which thing you are going to “love”: the ideal you cherish of a woman, and happiness with her; or your convictions regarding the apparent obstacles and difficulty.
Choose the ideal, dwell on it happily and expectantly, and see what happens.

(It’s not easy to control one’s thoughts and attitudes, and refuse to entertain doubt and fear – it’s the hardest thing that we can do in this world, and may very well be the lesson-point of being here in the first place! – but if you can pull it off for some extended period, you may find yourself surprised.)

Let other men think about cans of peas, statistics, and all that. Those men will also achieve whatever THEY constantly dwell upon and believe in, and that’s fair - they have the same opportunity to step out of the ‘zero sum game’; and if they choose not to do so, that’s, again, fair. They’re not being denied anything because someone else ‘got it’; they’ve simply made a choice.

“...be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”


236 posted on 05/19/2017 4:21:43 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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