Posted on 03/06/2017 6:37:26 PM PST by BJ1
SALT LAKE CITY — New research debunking the “ball and chain” myth of marriage for men was released Tuesday.
According to a research brief published by the Institute of Family Studies, the idea that marriage creates more unhappiness than happiness for men just isn’t true.
Nicholas H. Wolfinger, a researcher at the University of Utah, and W. Bradford Wilcox, a researcher at the University of Virginia, say that more education is needed in order to ensure that people understand marriage and the truth behind it.
“Contrary to the notion that marriage is detrimental to men, it turns out that the benefits are substantial by every conceivable measure, including greater financial well-being, higher quality of sexual life, and significantly better physical and mental health outcomes,” wrote Wilcox and Wolfinger in “Men & Marriage: Debunking the Ball and Chain Myth.”
Married men, the research argued, are often less depressed than their bachelor counterparts.
“Marriage is broadly beneficial to men and women alike, and many of these benefits appear to be causal,” Wolfinger said. “In other words, they’re a direct benefit of marriage itself, and not simply a benefit of the fact that happier, healthier, and wealthier men are more likely to get married in the first place.”
According to Pew Research, men are more likely than women to never have been married, but marriage for both men and women have been in a steady decline since 1960.
Why should anyone get married when he cannot support a family?
There are all sorts of different standards of living.
Risks of divorce and her cheating is too high unless you can find a near virgin.
There’s also an utter lack of non slutty women to marry. Once a woman been with 4+ guys her ability to pair bond is pretty much destroyed and the risk of divorce due to cheating goes through the roof. This is why functional socities put a great deal work into keeping women chaste before marriage.
What you said. Totally true. Applies to the past also; I married a conservative Republican gal and we're still married 42 years later. I was a Democrat and switched to being a Republican shortly after we got together. Best decisions I ever made.
Good or even halfway decent marriages are a good thing, but there is nothing on earth worse than a bad marriage.
Young women need to starts showing that they will be a good wife and good mother and not try to pull any stunts like marrying, having a few kids, and then going for alimony for the rest of their life, along with child support.
At the risk of being flamed on this site, young women need a job/career of their own that show they know good money management and they also need to basically stop expecting a young man to shoulder ALL the responsibility for their family’s well being, financial and social.
The problem is people wait so long to marry that they find themselves in the 30s wondering why “all of the good ones are taken”.
Which is why the advice I would give now is, find someone good enough as soon as possible, and make it work. Don’t worry about whether or not you can do better. There is no such thing as “finding your soulmate”.
I’ve spent less than 3 years married out of 78. Being single has its advantages but all are outweighed by the good marriage that has escaped me.
“The ultimate failure of the sexual revolution lies in the fact that other people are not your playthings. Even if they want to degrade themselves in such fashion, you still have your own honor to preserve.”
Exactly; the sexual revolution turned sex/relationships into a playground and people into playthings.
Got married in ‘72, “back in the Hippie days” and it was kind of a Hippie marriage, in a way, although formally sanctified to everyone’s satisfaction.
My wife was really the architect of the whole thing, surprise, surprise ... so well, here we are. Two kids and three grandkids. Life couldn’t be “grander”.
May others be as fortunate.
My favorite quote on marriage is that men get married thinking this is the end of the courtship and women get married thinking this is the institutionalization of courtship. With such different expectations things are never going to be easy.
God designed marriage between a man and a woman for the benefit of both. It’s in the Bible.
Yeah.... so is a guy getting hit in the head with a rock.
When does their companion study, “The health, mental, and financial impact of a 60% divorce rate on men in a rigged family court system,” to come out.
Marriage is great if one finds a good woman. Unfortunately, it is getting harder and harder to find a good woman.
Too late for me.
>>God designed marriage between a man and a woman for the benefit of both. It’s in the Bible.<<
And?
Not trying to be obtuse, but what we have today isn’t marriage in the sense of what God has joined together, let no one separate. No fault divorce is here. The women is the big winner if there are children. She might even get alimony. Cash and prizes because “no man is going to tell her what to do” right?
In the OT adultery is punished by death. Now it’s conceivable that a woman can cheat on her husband with his best friend. The husband is forced out. His ex-best friend is now doing his wife and living with his kids. And the now ex-husbandgets court ordered to pay the ex-wife child support.
That’s not how God designed marriage.
I’m always amused by the married men are better off financially line. Men who are financially better off are more likely to attract a woman for marriage then one who is not so well off. It’s like saying skinny women get more dates that fat women so if fat women want to be skinny women then they need to go on more dates.
Got to confuse the poor millenials............
I always read these threads out of curiosity, but feel saddened by what people think of marriage.
Marriage was instituted by God, it is not good that man should be alone. It also provides a picture of Christ and His glorious bride, the church. Marriage is about much more than how it makes you feel, it’s not at all about the other person making you happy. The best thing parents can do for child is to love each other, and love is a choice not a feeling.
I’ve been married for only 18 years and, for me, the past few years have been so much better than previous years. It’s as though our commitment was strengthened as we matured and became less selfish and less demanding. A few years ago we went to a Gary Chapman conference. It was so good for us, he taught more about marriage than just the love languages.
Obviously, I still get irritated at times, as does my husband. We have money stresses, parenting stresses, etc.but we are a team working together rather than against each other. Things get better every year.
Dr. Laura said it best, “ Choose wisely, treat kindly.” I chose wisely, or perhaps God was just gracious in providing a man who has sought God more and more every year thus becoming a better and better husband. I am doing my best to treat him kindly.
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