Chronic flaturator: 
Posted on 02/21/2017 2:12:39 PM PST by drewh
Gin-guzzling trainwreck Camilla has been forced into a hush-hush, home-detox program after humiliating the royal family with her drunken antics — and detonating a horrifying booze-fueled confrontation where she shockingly slapped future queen Kate Middleton! Sources learned that her furious hubby Prince Charles — who fears her boozy bad behavior is destroying any chance he has of becoming king — has confined the Duchess of Cornwall to her quarters in Highgrove.
A team of private detox experts then began secretly trying to dry out the hateful royal with intensive emotional therapy and a 12-step program! But the royal souse and repeated rehab veteran, who fell off the wagon downing huge quantities of vodka and gin, did not go quietly. “When a pair of young nurses tried to explain that she was to remain in her bedroom suite for treatment, Camilla broke free, ran out into the palace and hid,” a royal insider said. “More than two dozen staffers searched high and low for nearly three hours before she was found clutching a bottle of gin she had stashed."
Camilla was discovered in a broom closet off the kitchen, sitting on the floor and swilling warm gin right out of the bottle. She had another bottle with her and it was already empty. “She was so smashed, she couldn’t stand. Staffers got a wheelchair and pushed her back to her room.” Now, Charles has ordered two husky male nurses be on hand 24/7 to make sure Camilla stays put and follows the orders of her rehab therapists.
Camilla’s confinement follows a pair of outrageous drunken episodes. Photographers snapped the duchess happily chugging an enormous glass of red wine late last month as she was honored at the Vintners’ Company, a charity organization promoting English wines! “Camilla’s enthusiasm for the tipple was a huge embarrassment to everyone. You would have thought she’d just walked across the Sahara and was dying of thirst,” says an eyewitness.
But the most outrageous incident came a day later in a palace drawing room where Camilla, slurring her words and reeking of alcohol, cornered Prince William’s wife, Kate -- right in front of a maid. The palace servant later told other staffers that “a staggering drunk” duchess “began cursing out Kate” over having been anointed by Queen Elizabeth, and “then slapped her,” a palace source says.
“She bellowed at Kate, ‘I should be queen! You’re just a common brood mare. No class, no blue blood running through your veins. The crown belongs to me!’” the source said. “Then she reared back and took a big swing at Kate. Fortunately, she was so drunk and wobbly, she mostly missed! But she did graze Kate’s cheek.
Kate was more shocked than injured,” said the source. “And like the perfect lady she is, she just turned her back and slowly walked out of the room, leaving Camilla wallowing on her couch and sobbing into her gin bottle about how she’s been cheated out of her rightful place on the throne.” William was furious after Kate relayed what had happened. He went to his father, Charles, demanding something be done about crazed Camilla. The queen also told Charles to sober up his wife — and exile her to the Bahamas!
The drunken duchess has been sent to rehab twice before on Her Majesty’s orders. Elizabeth was tired of being humiliated at public functions by her daughter-in-law, who also suffers from embarrassing chronic flatulence. In 2012 and 2013, Camilla was secretly shipped off to theSoukya International Holistic Health Centre in Bangalore, India. Staying in the $5,500-a-night presidential suite, Camilla was put on a detox regimen that included yoga, meditation and a low-carb vegetarian diet of mostly soups and salads.
The Ayurvedic Detox program also included induced vomiting, enemas and nasal cleansing to flush out alcohol. Now, Charles finds Camilla’s presence more poisonous than a hangover! He’s offered her a $48 million divorce, trying to get away cheap. But Camilla says the price of his freedom — and her silence — is $527 million. Livid Charles has exiled her to the Bahamas as soon as her rehab is done! Royal courtiers insist Charles wants out and his lawyers are drawing up divorce papers while she struggles to dry out.
Chronic flaturator:
This is not about Camilla. This is being released to give reason for Charles not being the next King.
This story is really hilarious but it’s too good to be true, Queen Elizabeth wanting to exile her to the Bahamas, lol.
As the noted Roman philosopher,Afflatus Prolngo once noted, ‘Whoever smelt it dealt it.”
Camilla wants the big bucks, 50 million is chump change!
The Queen is a right ol’ gal. She’s one of the longest-serving royals, she stayed in London during the blitz, and had presented herself with dignity and grace.
Long live the Queen, I say!
They got their wealth and position off the backs and blood of others...
That's why we threw out of the USA....
The are the poster children of parasites....
half a box of Chardonnay.
OMG
That could be the funniest thing I have read on this site in 10 years.
Slam dunk Post of the day, maybe even Post of the year.
I bow to your wordsmithness.
Charles is an idiot and should not be. I'm really not that wild about William either, personally. Harry's the only one with any gumption.
He picked her. He had to have known before they married
That’s IF any of this is true. The Brits do live tabloid stuff
maybe they are getting some manners after all...
serves Charles right, he deserves a crazy woman like this.
Drunkess of Cornhole?
That is exactly what I was thinking. And it seems to be a big scandal related to Camilla; for Hillary, not so much.
does Camilla get to stay on Richard Bransons island?
Camilla is never gonna be queen now!
Only a handful of successful lawsuits leading to redacted articles have occurred since the enquirer was first founded.
They’re fairly accurate when it comes to damaging info on people.
Other stuff like bigfoot and the easter bunny, not so much.
So what Paper is this from? Does anyone know of this is real or fake news?
This sounds like total BS. Camilla knows she can never be Queen. The Parliament passed something when she and Charles married. She can only be the consort.
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