half a box of Chardonnay.
OMG
That could be the funniest thing I have read on this site in 10 years.
Slam dunk Post of the day, maybe even Post of the year.
I bow to your wordsmithness.
OMG
That would be about 1.5l, or two bottles. Chardonnay runs around 14% ABV.
I suspect the Hildebeest would be well and truly besotted after such a binge!
I don't pretend to speculate what Dr Parkinson would have to add.