Posted on 01/16/2017 5:38:56 AM PST by Lazamataz
I propose to give you, my valued readers, the entirety of the Russian Hacks that gave Donald Trump an illegitimate victory.
There are other things the Russians are responsible for. A short list follows:
Russians cause global warming, infanticide, glacial formation, the sinking of the Titanic, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and fire ants. Russians are the cause of late mail, lack of adequate punctuation, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and feminine itching. Russians are the cause of fixed greyhound races, the metric system, errors in longitudinal measurements, and smaller portions. Russians are the cause of angry wives, Speedos on fat people, mismatched socks, and mold on cucumbers. Russians are the cause of the Zombie Apocalypse, interstellar planetary collisions, muteness in albinos, and killer bees. Russians are the cause of gingivitis, off-key chorus singing, air inversions, and incremental floods. Russians are the cause of fans that quit, entropy, soap shards in the shower, and fat girls. Russians are the cause of cold oatmeal, excessive blogging, sweat stains, and misfires in 9mm ammunition. Russians are the cause of cabinet doors that do not line up, cracks in the sidewalk, the scourge of heroin, and every plane crash since 1972. Russians are the cause of John McCain, senility, traitorism, and infiltration by the left (but I repeat myself). Russians are the cause of low toner, high transmission rates, delivery service price increases, and gaudy shirts. Russians are the cause of splinters, earth tremors, Gamma ray emission by the element Lawrencium, and the lack of hobbits in real life. Russians are the cause of Facebook monitoring, trigger happy SWAT teams, pencil-neck geeks, and the Yellowstone Caldera. Russians are the cause of Russia, France, Sweden, and Zambia. Russians are the cause of carbon buildup, broken bungee cords, bad lap dances, and a lack of friendly greetings in cities. Russians are the cause of paper cuts, whirlpools, thunder, and machine disconnects. Russians are the cause of honey badgers, rigidity, painful exercise, and linear contraction. Russians are the cause of Nancy Pelosi, botox overdoses, pure insanity, and Alzheimer's. Russians are the cause of regression analysis, micro-stamping, failed unions, and misaligned microwave towers. Russians are the cause of blurry lenses, spider bites, stains, and legless crocodiles. Russians are the cause of missing keyboard keys, unexpected phone calls, broken pottery, and squeaking doors. Russians are the cause of warning labels on appliances, erectile dysfunction, waterspouts, and potholes. Russians are the cause of canker sores, narcissistic Presidents, leaking toilets, and crack addiction. Russians are the cause of corroded pennies, locomotive derailments, internet trolls, and wardrobe failures. Russians are the cause of ADHD in the clergy, Blue Screens of Death on personal computers, the French Revolution of 1789, and thorns. Russians are the cause of bad Muppet shows, holes in circus nets, the NFL going all-queer, all-the-time, and Sandra Fluke's birth-control deficit. Russians are the cause of Israel's problems with Syria, excessive salt in the Pacific Ocean, the disappearance of Malaysian Air flight 370, and infomercials. Russians are the cause of low-calorie diet soda, smudges on the Xerox, dry technical text, and animal abuse. Russians are the cause of glass shards, bad pudding, hair cancer, and sun-dried dead worms. Russians are the cause of porcelin stains, droughts, turbulence above 10000 feet, and power brown-outs. Russians are the cause of low scores on Angry Birds, weak tea, Michael Jackson's early demise, and Micheal Jackson. Russians are the cause of bad comb-overs, Chris Matthews, alcoholism, and spittle (but I repeat myself). Russians are the cause of Russians, micturition syncope, solar eclipses, and dead lithium batteries. Russians are the cause of Quiznos spongmonkeys, badly behaved Colonels, toothaches, and the shipwreck of the Minnow. Russians are the cause of failed sitcoms, knots you cannot get undone, overly-rare hamburgers at restaurants, and Miley Cyrus. Russians are the cause of squeaking hinges, malformed carrots, bent coat hangers, and slippery decks. Russians are the cause of the 2014 Midterms, tarnished silver, wobbling fans, and tangled power cables. Russians are the cause of off-hook phones, shattered ceramics, dull scissors, and dog-eared books.
It is for all these reasons that I declare Donald Trump -- who was in no way responsible or committed any of the above -- ILLEGITIMATE. We must follow the Constitution word-for-word, and simply declare him the default loser. We can then follow the Constitutional directives on holding a new election, allowing the entirely-legitimate Barack Obama to stay in the Presidency until we can arrange to appoint Hillary Clinton, who was the rightful winner all along.
This list should be sent to Mr. Trump! ;-)
Nostalgic lovable Boris & Natasha cartoon adds nice touch.
Спасибо. Perhaps you correct. You FSB Handler for десять лет, I listen for you. Never suspecting Americanyetz, is truth.... so will not ask for extraction.
Find a way to get it in front of him! I’d love to join his PR team...professionally! :)
I do not tweet. Tweet the link of this thread to his Twitter account. ;-)
and they, the Russians are so clever that they allowed Hillary to win the popular election by 3,000,000 votes but still have DJT win the electoral college by approximately 10% (don’t know the real numbers so this is just a hedge guess).
Uncanny how they were able to select voters in the several states to accomplish this feat.
If you want to know what the democrats are up to just watch what they are accusing the Republicans of doing. Never, never fails.
Oh! I forgot, That it was Obama who told Putin the now the he was reelected he would have more latitude in their negotiations. suddenly Russia got 1/5 of our uranium production, minor sanctions on Crimea, ignored in Syria, etc.
Exactly. If the Russians are such geniuses at fixing elections, they’d have made sure Trump took the popular vote, too.
Of all the “reasons” the Dems have come up with for Hillary losing the election, the best one is that the tabloids in grocery store checkout counters changed the outcome. Hilarious. At some point I believe it will dawn on them how pathetic and idiotic they’re behaving. I hope they’ll have the decency to be humiliated.
Counting 7 faithless electors as "Other," Trump won 304 / 538 = 56.5% of the EVote to <~R's 227 / 538 = 42.2%.
So Mr. Trump won by 14.3%. "Other" won 1.3%
OOPS! I begin speaking American language once again, to dodge all questions. How the Americans say... “My bad.”
OMG - is this why CIA Director Brennan went over the edge and started lying about Trump? I mean something made him nuts, right?
So the Russians made Cong John Lewis deliriously happy......they made Hillary the “legitimate” president.
Furthermore, the Russians got the prostitutes to eat asparagus 2 hours before their visit to Trump’s room, so that their pee would be the real stinky kind!
Unbeatable, omnipotent Russians!
DANG!
Whoa, even that?
Years ago in my misspent youth, I'd watch people at the bar and had come to the conclusion this must be caused by someone eating salted peanuts at the bar then not washing all the salt out of their mustache.
Geez, these Russians are sneaky bastards.
Actual ratio = 9.5 / 7.094.
As far as Freepers go, I am the busiest!
Talk about brilliant and clever! HOW do you do it?
I appreciate your kind words, but I remind myself regularly, I am just some a-hole with a keyboard.
You are the 357th Satisfied Customer!™
I am honored.
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