I listened enviously for years at parents' back-to-school nights and block parties to tales of newborns who slept continuously for 8, 9, 10, hours within just a few weeks of coming home from the hospital. Meanwhile, none of our three slept more than two -- or if we were very lucky -- two and a half hours at a time, and none of them typically would go back to sleep after being fed or read to for at least 30 minutes until they were well into their two's.
Finally, after about eight years, we had the opportunity to sleep through the night.
Alas! by then we were both so thoroughly trained that any sound louder than five decibels anywhere in the house would send us bolting across the hall...
Anyway, these parodies have given me, father of three who roared up the bypass to the hospital at a hundred miles an hour in a minivan, one hand on the wheel while all the small bones of the other were being crushed to powder by a hysterical screaming woman the idea for a parody book of my own. It may just may kill the market for these other parodists -- and the serious books they're lampooning.
My working title: It's Going to Hurt Like Passing a Kidney Stone The Size of a Bowling Ball and the Stupid G*ddamn Breathing Exercises Are Not Going to Do a Bit of Good.
I like it!!! Go with it!!!
My first three babies loved sleep. So even if I had to get up and feed them at night, they’d nap a lot and sleep late and so I never felt too deprived. The fourth though?? She slept barely 8 hours in the 24! What?! So I was sleep deprived until she was 18 months old and finally seemed to need more sleep. Insane.