True story:
My father in law died. A great guy. Died 13 years ago. I miss him still.
He had pre-arranged and prepaid his own funeral. However the funeral director was trying to upsell a nicer casket than the one my FIL had selected. I kept saying “No thanks”.
“But look” the guy said; “this casket comes with a LIFETIME GUARANTEE!”
My wife groaned. She knew what was coming. I was gonna have a ball!
“WHO’S LIFETIME?” I demanded. “As you can see - Mr. Thurmond here is DEAD. His lifetime is over. Done.”
“Maybe you mean MY lifetime? Yeah? Maybe in 20 years I’m gonna dig him up to ascertain the viability of this ‘Lifetime Guarantee’”?
My wife kept saying “Let it go. Just stop”.
I find humor where I can. Even in a funeral home.
Magnificent. Your delivery (”my wife knew what was coming”) made it even better.