Posted on 12/08/2016 8:55:56 AM PST by SeekAndFind
"You better watch out. You better not lie." Wait. What?!
If you're a Christian parent, perhaps you too question whether you should conform to the holiday tradition of Santa Claus celebrated across the world. Logically speaking, your concerns are warranted. If we lie to our kids about Santa, then perhaps we lied to them about Jesus as well.
Then again, some of my greatest childhood memories were baking cookies and putting out milk for Santa. It wasn't until I was in second grade that one of my best friends, a Jehovah's witness, broke the news. Sitting across the lunch table, I remember the exact spot we were in like it was yesterday. I defended Santa as fiercely as a seven-year-old could.
Were my parents wrong for lying to me?
Two psychologists, in this month's journal Lancet Psychiatry, suggest so — that lying to our children about Santa Claus could expose our children to "abject disappointment."
As Kathy McKay, co-author of the study, said: "The Santa myth is such an involved lie, such a long-lasting one, between parents and children, that if a relationship is vulnerable, this may be the final straw. If parents can lie so convincingly and over such a long time, what else can they lie about?"
If you go along with the Santa tradition like 97% — I made this number up — of other families, take heart. I'm grateful my parents went along with Santa. But I also think we should listen to the research, and take some caution.
6 Considerations About Santa Claus As Christians
1. Don't use Santa Claus to manipulate your children to behave.
Let's be honest, who hasn't used Santa Claus to exorcise a sugar-possessed child from Christmas candy. At the risk of sounding like a scrooge, Santa's not making a list and checking it twice. God, on the other hand, really does know our child's heart. The values and discipline we instill in our children throughout the year ought not to be based on a fictional character, but on the God who knows even the number of hairs on our child's head. Teaching our kids to love and behave well because they're already loved by God is better parenting and theology than telling them to behave because it will earn them presents. Relying on Santa to get our children to behave throughout December says more about our parenting than it does our children's behavior.
2. Build relational trust with your kids.
Notice what McKay says in the study, " ... that if a relationship is vulnerable, [the myth of Santa] may be the final straw." Emphasis is mine. Some of my greatest childhood memories with my parents involved Santa Claus and Christmas. Not only did my parents also place high value on the birth of Jesus, I already trusted them. When Dad said he would be at my wrestling match or baseball game, he was there. When Mom said she was going to play with me, she did. I never questioned my parent's love for me. I was emotionally safe. Again, Santa Claus isn't the issue here, it's the overall quality of our relationship with our kids.
3. Teach your kids about the real St. Nicholas.
The term Santa Claus is derived from the name St. Nicholas, who was a real and revered 4th century Christian saint who became known for secretly giving gifts to others. Note: He gave presents to people not based on their behavior, but to secretly bless them.
4. Focus on Jesus' birth.
Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. In our culture, however, it's easy to get caught up in the glamor of Santa, elves, and reindeer. In our house, we read the Christmas story a few times a week leading up to Christmas. Through advent, we teach our kids about the 25 characters of the Christmas story. We try to be super intentional about spending more time telling our kids about Jesus. If he comes to their school or we see him in a Christmas movie, we talk about Santa. We also put out milk and cookies the night before Christmas. But it pales in comparison to the birthday party we have for Jesus.
5. Focus on imagination!
What my mother-in-law did with my wife, Christi, and her siblings growing up is exactly what we'll do in our house. They played Santa. And when it came time for the kids to ask if Santa was real, her answer was simply, "Santa is pretend. And we pretend in our house."
6. But what about the elf on the shelf, you ask?
It's too much work. Santa has enough to do this Christmas.
____________________________________________
Joshua Straub, Ph.D. is an author, speaker and family coach. He serves as Marriage and Family Strategist for LifeWay Christian Resources and is the President and Cofounder of The Connextion Group, a company designed to empower families to live, love, and lead well. He is author / coauthor of four books including Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well. He blogs regularly at joshuastraub.com.
Our society is so FULL of PC and data (via computer) that kids are pretty hip by the age of 3 or 4.
Santa is a REAL myth easily dismissed and the kids know about the reality of money and value pretty quickly.
Christmas is (I thiunk .. ) starting to come back around to the birth of Christ, which is what it should be, anyway.
Who cares about the date and time of year ...
Unto us a child is given
And I am SO thankful for Him.
Merry Christmas !
We never did. We taught them what Christmas was about and explained that we give each other gifts just like God gave us His gift.
My best friend grew up believing in Santa and was absolutely devastated when she learned that the people she trusted the most had lied to her. She could not understand how they would do that to her and set up in her mind the question of what else they may have lied to her about.
What,not real?
Really? This is journalism?
I guess most kids do not have parents that have a clue.
Good grief man,let children enjoy their childhood.The weight of adulthood will land on their shoulders soon enough.
Second ...
6. But what about the elf on the shelf, you ask?
You asked for it ...
If this is all this guy has to worry about regarding his kids, then bully for him. Otherwise, he can just keep his opinions to himself.
My stepfather was Serbian Orthodox and Saint Nicholas was the family patron saint. I didn’t grow up with “Santa Claus” but St. Nicholas - we celebrated Dec 6th every year. For gifts, they were from the family and when I got older we would joke that “Santa” brought a gift for the house (something we wanted for the whole family like a game or furniture etc).
Now that I am a parent, MrR and I are a bit conflicted. “Santa” is part of many children’s lives but I don’t want to lie to them and I am not any worse off for not being given the standard “Santa” story. In fact, I believe I am better off for not growing up with it.
I don’t have an issue with All Hallow’s Eve, but again I do not consider it Satanic, but know the history and why we have the traditions we do.
How did we ever survive our Santa fantasy as children? I’ll say it probably had to do with living in more of a monoculture than the multiculture we have today. Today I wouldn’t give the Santa story to a child the same way but slowly reveal the truth of the spirit behind the whole thing in the sort of way the letter from Virginia did.
Of course there is a Santa!!! God made St. Nicholas an angel that could touch mankind’s heart.
In this case yes
“Our society is so FULL of PC and data (via computer) that kids are pretty hip by the age of 3 or 4.”
Heck I figured out Santa was not real when he would refuse to bring me the same presents that my parents would not buy me at the store...
“In fact, I believe I am better off for not growing up with it.”
I can understand that being without Santa as a child is no big deal but how on earth can you be better off?
In what way?
.
.
According the liberal minds, Santa is not a lie. They still expect Santa to grant provisions for every need they find. Santa just wears a different face(no longer in a Santa suit; now in a business suit). Life is good and life is free from care, worry and woe
Sure, why not make the world a little bit more miserable for kids by telling them he isnt real?
If the left is going to strip Christmas clean from their end, the other might as well torch it too!
I never had the breach of trust for finding out there was no Santa - that my parents lied to me. I learned the real history and knew the real stories behind St. Nick. He was a role model to devotion to his faith and selfless giving.
I wasn’t bribed to ‘be good’ because ‘Santa was making a list’, I behaved because it was proper. Gifts were given not for ‘being good’ but because it celebrated the Gift of Christ that God gave us.
That’s so heart warming
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