I am saying a normal life is over for both the parents and all the children in the family. As a matter of fact you have to worry about the extra hardships in life passed onto another sibling child in all these cases. Or what losses the sibling child takes because of the tons of energy and resources going into the challenged child.
There yours, you love them but depending on the situation or if they are boys, things can get 1000% more difficult.
You would go OMG if I went into the antics of the 37 year old from age 20 on. Holes in walls, broken doors, anxiety, hookers with aids, constant emergency room visits and sense of self reliance or responsibility.
Sorry for your situation truly. Our life may not be “normal” to some but what is normal for one family isn’t normal for another. We have friends with children who would be considered “normal” and they have so many problems with them that I see our life as so much happier and more free.