This may be the best advice I have found on FR in a while and I am profoundly thankful for it. I have family and friends that I am just not wanting to give up on. It's not a matter of "winning" the argument, but rather wanting to spark something in them that will inspire them to THINK, to break away from the sheeple attitude and think for themselves.
"Converting them with emotion" sounds so reasonable. Having a tendency to approach everything with an analytical mindset, I'm not sure exactly how to go about this. Is there a "how to" book? I'm ready to give it a try. Any advice?
I’m not aware of any “how to” book. If there were, I’d buy it. (Maybe I should write it, but it’s too late for this election cycle.)
My advice is to try to figure out what motivates them the most. To start, ask questions and do a lot of listening and very little arguing. Don’t expect them to give clear answers because they might not be introspective enough to know what and how they think, but ask anyway. It will accomplish several things:
1. They will appreciate you for taking an interest and listening to them. No one is going to change sides to join an enemy they hate. Listening makes you less “hatable”. They equate listening with caring. Remember Hitlery’s “listening tour” when she first ran for Senator? Real listening is caring. Hitlery’s listening was fake listening. When you really care about family and friends and really listen, they will know that and they will feel that.
2. It will force them to examine their own thinking and motivations. This can go in a number of directions. It might make them uncomfortable or defensive. It’s probably best not to push if they get defensive because when it’s all about emotion, that riles them.
3. Figure out what their top issues are, underlying the emotions. It can be different for each person.
4. Address the particular issue that matters to each person once you find out what it is. Example: Is it someone who thinks that conservatives are racists and haters? Can you point to examples of conservatives who aren’t? In particular, can you show them that you aren’t? (Liberals are often SHOCKED to find out that I am a conservative. But but but... you teach ESL to foreigners! And you’re a nice person!! And you coach and tutor inner city kids!!! How can you be a tea partier????)
One huge thing with liberals is that they think they have a monopoly on nice. No one wants to be associated with the “mean” party.
Another thing I do is to try to patiently explain that what appears nice on the surface (flinging welfare money to deadbeats) is NOT nice. I usually compare the government to the parents in a family and ask what a parent who really cares would do. Would loving parents let a deadbeat child live forever in their basement? Or do they want them to get out and stand on their own two feet? Yes, in an emergency, you will support a kid, but out of love you will push them out of the nest because in the long run they will be happier.
I hope that helps. Feel free to FReepmail me any time. I’ll do my best to answer any questions or brainstorm strategies with you.
Best of luck!
Best FReegards,
g