Is it demeaning to women to say that you think most women are not marriage material?
I think that is VanDeKoik’s point. And after doing a risk vs. reward breakdown, I argue that is the case. Guys who talk about other men as not being real men are not helping. You want to shame VanDeKoik? If so why?
The problem as I see it are older men who have no real world experience with the younger women of today. Or if middle aged, the problem are the men who married a woman that is actually pleasant to be around.
However there are millions of men who one day had some devastating news come of of the blue. It often goes along the lines of “I’m not in love with you anymore...” Yeah maybe these guys are dense, but hey it came out of the blue for them.
Then these guys lose half their assets, get alienated from their children and continue to pay child support thus impoverishing them. Meanwhile the ex wife may have been unfaithful and is shacking up/remarried to somebody else. If it weren’t for Christian/religious reasons, I would actively discourage my sons from getting married. Both are in their 20s.
And sometimes it’s the other way around. A woman marries a man at 18 just out of high school. He works a good job and supports the family. They have kids. The wife stays home and takes care of the children, the home, the meals, etc. Fifteen or twenty years go by and hubby starts an affair with his secretary. He tells the wife he wants a divorce so he can marry the new gal. Wife has no outside work experience and cannot find a job other than entry level, minimum wage. Child support isn’t nearly enough to pay the bills, feed and clothe the kids, pay the mortgage, the car, the gas, etc. Should the philandering husband get out of his responsibilities so easily especially since he was the one who broke the marriage?
Sorry, there are always two sides to a story. Divorce laws are supposed to be fair as well as realistic. Will some women take advantage? Sure. Just as some men do, too. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. The family is the nucleus of society. When that breaks down, civilization is not far behind. People SHOULD be more circumspect regarding marriage. It should not be entered into lightly. We are seeing the consequences for such mistakes.