In peaceful and innocent bliss: I still sleep in my parents’ bed

UMass Daily Collegian ^ | 10/12/16 | Devarajan

[pabianice]

I still sleep in my parents’ bed. Beside them. At night. And I’m 20-years-old. Let me put that into context.

My parents are getting old. It pains me, but this is a fact. And whether or not I try to convince myself otherwise, one day I will be without them, assuming I’ll live longer than they do. I will not be able to see my mother’s face, or hear my father’s voice, I will not be able to physically go to them for support, or guidance or love.

This simple reality deeply pains me. And for this reason, I sleep beside them. I sleep amongst their bodies that rise and fall as mine does with each breath we take, and I hold on to this simple action that makes me feel as if we will be united forever. I try my hardest to remember them in their stillness, the patterns of their breath, their facial features and body shapes in such peaceful and innocent bliss. By sleeping beside them, I desperately hold on to how alive we all are in that moment, because I know that one day they will be nothing but a distant memory.

The second reason I sleep alongside my parents is to preserve my youth.

[Sans-Culotte]

[PAR35]

Sounds like it would really cut into the love life of the parents. At the very least, the parents need to get a deadbolt for the bedroom door.

[Mrs. Don-o]

I was gonna say "anxiety disorder," but then I noticed she's apparently Indian (name: Pavithra Devarajan) and I do think that for some Indian sub-groups this may be culturally normal. This is just a guess.

When I was a child (60 years ago) the neighbor family had 7 kids in a 2-bedroom house. The three girls got one bedroom; three boys got the living-room (couches and mats and sleeping bags) and the parents plus the baby got the second bedroom.

I actually never thought twice about it, until now.

I do know that "the family bed" is much more common in some other countries, for instance where houses are much smaller, families are much bigger, and one-bed-per-person is practically unheard-of.

So I'll hold off on my judgments until I know more about it.

[Opinionated Blowhard]

While this kid is pretty extreme, there are a lot of kids out there who don’t want to grow up. They want to stay infantized with Mommy and Daddy taking care of them well into what should be their early adulthood. They pretty much uniformly end up wastes of life — unemployed, on drugs, incredibly self-centered, drains on society.

[ViLaLuz]

What happens when her parents get frisky?

[Dilbert San Diego]

That occurred to me too. There are times when parents might want to have some quality time alone.

[trebb]

This is what we get when we foster mental and emotional cripples. The person is sick.

[JimRed]

Girly-man, or real girl?

[Yaelle]

I’m not reading this.

I only clicked on it because I am sleeping in my parents’ bed too and I was wondering if it would be something touching or weird. In my case, I mean the huge fancy wooden bed frame (my own mattress) -— and the room where they lived for years. My dad has died recently and my mom is in a smaller, safer room (she has Alzheimer’s).

But yeah, no. I have 19 year old son and this story sounds wrong. If I had an adult daughter and we were traveling and needed to share a bed, I’d have no trouble. But no, you do not sleep with your parent of opposite sex past puberty, even while traveling.

[Yaelle]

Family bed doesn’t go up to age 20. Family bed is awesome for little children. Everyone sleeps all night long. No scared waking in the night because they know you are right there. However, for the sake of the marriage, the family bed needs to be in the child’s room. Master bed needs to be No Children Allowed. Adults need a place to be alone. Adults with small children don’t need to actually SLEEP with their spouses. Little children NEED their parent in the night. For security and not just emotional: no kid sleeping with their parent will be kidnapped.

[NorthMountain]

vomit.

Legions of psychology/psychiatry grad students could write their dissertations on this dude and not duplicate their work ...

[Mrs. Don-o]

I totally get what you're saying. Sounds very sensible to me.

And the author's strong emotional investment and seeming insecurity makes me think "anxiety disorder" or something.

But she doesn't say she sleeps in her parents' bed all the time. She says she has her own bed at home and sleeps side-by-side in the parents' bed only occasionally.

I just wonder about other cultures, where this 20-year-old might be considered within the normal spectrum. (??)

[jack_napier]

I laugh now at how emotionally stunted this poor girl is, but

By sleeping beside them, I desperately hold on to how alive we all are in that moment, because I know that one day they will be nothing but a distant memory.

What happens when that day comes? The lucky outcome is a dysfunctional relationship. The unlucky one is where she turns to the state to be her caretaker.

[jack_napier]

I’ve known a lot of Indian folks and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of business like this. They tend to emphasize education, career, and marriage. Either way, just say no to multiculturalism.

[wardaddy]

The writer is I think an Injun....red dot not flayed alive on the spit sort

Maybe it’s a thing they do in Bombay or Mumbai or whatever...

[Larry Lucido]

"I sleep in my mother's bed. Sometimes, I am my mother."

[surrey]

I swear ,we know a young recent college grad who could have penned this. He’s absolutely pathetic.

[surrey]

I swear ,we know a young recent college grad who could have penned this. He’s absolutely pathetic.

[Boogieman]

[Larry Lucido]

Hmmmmm.