She’s Got Cookie Monster Eyes (with thanks to Kim Carnes)
Her hair is just fools gold
Her lips frighten guys
Her heart is always cold
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
She’ll turn her cops loose on you
She won’t have to think twice
She’s gray as New York snow
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
She’ll alarm you
IRS harm you
All the better to disarm you
She’s precocious, and she knows just
What it takes to make her fans blush
She got psycho ex-wife standoff sighs
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
She’ll let Bill take girls home
It whets her appetite
But she wants her own throne
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
She’ll take a tumble or two
Eyes roll like they were dice
Until she comes out blue
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
They’ll expose her, but she snows you
Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you
She’s ferocious, and she knows just
What it takes to make her fans blush
Americans think she’s a spy
She’s got Cookie Monster eyes
(She’s got Marty Feldman eyes (Also thanks to Kim Carnes)Her hair is gray and old
Her lips chapped and dry
Her hands are always cold
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
Her once good looks are gone
She’ll no longer entice
A big mole on her nose
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
She’ll unease you
She has fleas too
And she has Hodgkin’s disease too
She’s atrocious
Sometimes she forgets to make the toilet bowl flush
She’s got Kirstie Alley big fat thighs
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
She’s from a mental home
You know her mind’s not right
Her hair she doesn’t comb
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
She’ll scream or mumble at you
Repeats everything twice
She’s got a few loose screws
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
She’s an old shrew
And she’s been to
Other planets in a U.F.O. too
She’s atrocious
And she knows just what it takes to make you go nuts
All the boys think she’s a guy
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes
She’ll impede you
And deceive you
All the better just to leave you
She’s atrocious
When she scrubs her back she’ll use the toilet bowl brush
All the boys think she’s a guy
She’s got Marty Feldman eyes