Top 5?!? d:^)
I made it to FRIDAY!
Had to work for this week.
IN! Top -— something...
Married Bill.
Gained enough power after marrying Bill, she was able to have people offed to protect herself and her philandering husband.
Has mastered the Bobble-Head dance move.
Begging for a caption
The blonde answered, "120."
"No," he said, "that’s not right."
The blonde audience called out, "Give her another chance!"
So the speaker asked the blonde, "How much is 10 plus 13?"
Slowly the blonde replied, "16."
"Sorry", he said, shaking his head.
Once again the crowd roared, "Give her another chance."
"This is your last try," warned the speaker. "How much is 2 plus 2?"
Carefully she ventured, "Four?"
And the blonde crowd yelled, "Give her another chance!"
Name three Hillary accomplishments.
1. She hasn’t been indicted yet.
2. She is by all standards an accomplished liar.
3. Have I said she hasn’t been indicted yet?
AN IRISH ANGLER
The rain was pouring down, and there standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.
A passer-by stopped and asked, “What are you doing?”
“Fishing”, replied the old man.
Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, “Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me.”
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman cannot resist asking, “So how many have you caught today?”
“You’re the eighth” said the old man.
****
Baptizing an Irishman
An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,
when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk shouts, “Yes, I am.”
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, brother?”
The drunk answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk,
“For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
2016 version of “who’s on first” routine!
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 5.6%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.
COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.
ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 23%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 23% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 5.6%.
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%?
ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like a Democrat.
COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Hillary.
Thanks to USMCPOP:
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Somebody, throw some water on that witch.
Hillary accomplishment #1:
Getting Democrats to accept money in politics.
IN!! (Finally)
Name three HIllary accomplishments?
I posted that on facebook. This is one of the responses I received:
“xxxxxx xxxx - Getting away with treason, perjury, money laundering, high crimes, multiple federal law violations, responsible for the deaths of four Americans, National security breaches, pandering and division, compulsive lying, massive corrupt government cronyism, stealing more than 28,000 worth of White House belongings, Russian owning American uranium, slandering and degrading women and she got away with it all...
Did I miss anything? Because that’s quite a lot of accomplishments”.
