Being from NYC, and having attended Columbia, I'm guessing I have a lot more gay friends than you do. I didn't used to, so I was surprised when I got to know them just how much of every aspect of their lives seems to revolve around the question of sex, and when where and how they were going to have it. I know a lot of straight guys who think that way too, but sex is always on the table for gay men.
Some psychologists view it as an aberration that appears as part of a larger quest to be sexually normal. The man may know he needs to be manly (which is good) but yet not sense moral support from his environment to be manly (which is bad). The devil steps in with the idea of this kind of thrill, which conveys the illusion of feeling manly for a brief, intense moment, but which is quite selfish (let alone its physically destructive aspect) and misses the point of being manly.
The remedy would be to restore the moral support and break the habit. Applied theology is very good for this, but it can’t be a human centered selfish “Churchianity.” God has to be actually sensed as a live player in the picture.
I have no queer friends or associates. Same for liberals.