Subject: Chicken or egg
I just ordered a chicken and an egg off the Internet.
I'll let you know which one comes first...
A priest carrying a rabbit, a rabbi dressed as a woman, a horse, a giraffe and a drunk midget walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"
The giraffe says, "Ignore him, guys. The Highballs are on me."
Borrowed from coachisright.com
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. - Winston Churchill
How to stop time: KISS
How to travel in time: READ
How to escape time: MUSIC
How to feel time: WRITE
How to waste time: SOCIAL MEDIA
From an email: You can say a lot of things about President Obama but you have to give him credit for one thing:
The man took office less than 7 yrs ago and in that time he has managed to take a country that was in poor economic condition, a country that was weak and tired of wars, a country that had lost the respect of a significant part of the international community and single-handedly re-established its position as one of the most influential, prosperous and powerful countries in the world …
Now, if he could just help the United States the same way he helped Iran.
Beer quotes:
"If all you had to look forward to was sleeping with Lady Bird you'd stay drunk too."
Lyndon B. Johnson
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Paul Horning
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
H. L. Mencken
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
"Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!"
W. C. Fields
"Remember 'I' before 'E,' except in Budweiser."
Professor Irwin Corey
"To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!"
Leo Durocher
