[dayglored]

> ...swoons, festers and pungent pus bursts out of it...

In the interests of greater employment of alliteration, may I suggest: "...pungent pus pours from its putrid portal".

Mince not our words; let us rather rejoice in the recollection of the redoubtable Spiro Agnew. :-)

[dayglored]

I didn’t need to add a /sarc, did I? :-)