[Fungi]

How can a 400 pound “bearded” woman be so hard to find?

[Insigne123]

“...be on the lookout for Whoopi Goldberg impersonator...that is all”

[ransomnote]

I was wondering how someone fitting that description could “flee the scene.”

[mountn man]

MY EXACT THOUGHT.

Probably checking every nook and cranny.
Hint police: She ain't hiding in nooks and crannies.

[Robert DeLong]

With her knife she shaved her beard, and then spoke with police in a deep voice after ditching the weapon?

California has a high occurrence of 400 pound bearded women?

The police didn't bother checking out the carnival in town for fear of profiling?

Police didn't care about the cigarette bumming man and thought he got what was coming to him?

Witnesses lied that the perp. was a 400 pound bearded woman? I personally think this is the correct answer because I have a hard time seeing a 400 pound person being capable of fleeing. Waddling away at a slow pace perhaps.

[Cowboy Bob]

Remember...It’s California!

[bluejean]

The obesity epidemic obscured his-her’s getaway. The “bearded-woman” detail has to be discarded since it would be profiling. They’ll never find him-her now.

[metmom]

God help us if a 400 pound person is that hard to find.

Is our country in THAT bad shape, literally?

[tophat9000]

How can a 400 pound bearded woman be so hard to find?

...Its California, so will just blend into the crowd

[wiggen]

picturing “fled” at 400 lbs. Waddled?

[pas]

If they find her, they have to be able to catch her. That could be tough too.

[Calvin Locke]

How can a 400 pound “bearded” woman be so hard to find?

She painted her toe nails red, and climbed into a cherry tree?

[RobinOfKingston]

How can a 400 pound “bearded” woman be so hard to find?

And exactly what would "The suspect fled the scene" mean in the context of a 400 pound "bearded" woman?