Posted on 07/31/2015 5:41:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a little cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door named Lacey, got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,' but before she could say 'F***-off'!, the Rottweiler ate her!"
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
A man is stuck in traffic on I-25 near Denver. He asks a Police officer about the delay as he walks from car to car speaking with each of the drivers.
The policeman says, "There are three Muslims blocking traffic and threatening to douse themselves with gas and set themselves on fire if we don't get them airline tickets to the Middle East. So we're taking up a collection for them."
The Man replies, "How much have you got so far?"
The Policeman responds, "About 30 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
Heart
Oak Ridge Boys
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
KISS
YES
Traveling Wilburys
OMD (Orchestral Manuevers in the Dark)
Nazareth
Kid Rock
Molly Hatchet
Aerosmith
Neil Diamond
LOL!
It’s Friday and everyone in that picture is wearing red in honor of our troops!
EXCEPT the one in the middle.
Ozzy Osbourne
Led Zeppelin
Deep Purple
Van Halen
Iggy Pop
Ramones
George Jones
INXS
Nat King Cole
Iron Maiden
AC/DC
Neil Sedaka
My EYES!!!
They are look like Zero clones...
are ==> ALL
I ron Maiden
N itty Gritty Dirt Band
G lenn Campbell
T hree Dog Night
A labama
R ay Stevens
How’s that?
I saw what you did there... :o])
Don’t get so perky there sparky.
It’s also National MUTT Day.
Meant to celebrate mixed breed dogs the world over.
http://www.nationalmuttday.com/about.htm
So, Sys Admin persons get to share their special day with my mixed terrier and my neighbours 1/4 Lab, 1/4 Rottweiler, 1/4 Dachshund, 1/4 who knows mutts.
Oh, and just so you know, the Mutts get another day on December 2nd.
Now, don’t that make you feel extra happy? =)
I = Isley Brothers
D = Doors
E = Eagles
L = Little River Band
I = Intruders
S = Spandau Ballet
Beastie Boys.....come on
ELO
REM
Garth Brooks
Aretha Franklin
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.