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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 07/31/2015 5:41:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Quick...let's all be silly!



RANDOM SILLINESS BEGINS......NOW....










White man problems...






A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a little cat who stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door named Lacey, got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,' but before she could say 'F***-off'!, the Rottweiler ate her!"


A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.

'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.’

The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."



A man is stuck in traffic on I-25 near Denver. He asks a Police officer about the delay as he walks from car to car speaking with each of the drivers.

The policeman says, "There are three Muslims blocking traffic and threatening to douse themselves with gas and set themselves on fire if we don't get them airline tickets to the Middle East. So we're taking up a collection for them."

The Man replies, "How much have you got so far?"

The Policeman responds, "About 30 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

 




TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen
Kansas
ELO
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Iron Butterfly
Nine Inch Nails
T.Rex
Emerson, Lake & Palmer
XTC
Atomic Rooster
Steely Dan

41 posted on 07/31/2015 7:37:15 AM PDT by ken in texas
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To: blueunicorn6

42 posted on 07/31/2015 7:39:12 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: Lucky9teen

43 posted on 07/31/2015 7:41:33 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: EQAndyBuzz
HonkyTonkMan

Heart
Oak Ridge Boys
Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
KISS
YES
Traveling Wilburys
OMD (Orchestral Manuevers in the Dark)
Nazareth
Kid Rock
Molly Hatchet
Aerosmith
Neil Diamond

44 posted on 07/31/2015 7:49:53 AM PDT by HonkyTonkMan
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To: ken in texas

45 posted on 07/31/2015 7:57:54 AM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: BenLurkin

LOL!


46 posted on 07/31/2015 7:57:56 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
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To: fredhead

It’s Friday and everyone in that picture is wearing red in honor of our troops!

EXCEPT the one in the middle.


47 posted on 07/31/2015 8:00:07 AM PDT by left that other site (You shall know the Truth, and The Truth Shall Set You Free.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Ozzy Osbourne
Led Zeppelin
Deep Purple
Van Halen
Iggy Pop
Ramones
George Jones
INXS
Nat King Cole
Iron Maiden
AC/DC
Neil Sedaka


48 posted on 07/31/2015 8:10:07 AM PDT by oldvirginian (TED CRUZ, because the Constitution matters.)
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To: BenLurkin

My EYES!!!


49 posted on 07/31/2015 8:10:21 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.)
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To: fredhead

They are look like Zero clones...


50 posted on 07/31/2015 8:12:42 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.)
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To: Monkey Face

are ==> ALL


51 posted on 07/31/2015 8:13:36 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I ron Maiden
N itty Gritty Dirt Band
G lenn Campbell
T hree Dog Night
A labama
R ay Stevens

How’s that?


52 posted on 07/31/2015 8:16:31 AM PDT by Ingtar (Capitulation is the enemy of Liberty, or so the recent past has shown.)
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To: Monkey Face
Does this work?
53 posted on 07/31/2015 8:26:35 AM PDT by Ingtar (Capitulation is the enemy of Liberty, or so the recent past has shown.)
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To: Lucky9teen

54 posted on 07/31/2015 8:28:08 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< | :)~)
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To: Ingtar

I saw what you did there... :o])


55 posted on 07/31/2015 8:29:02 AM PDT by Monkey Face (I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.)
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To: ShadowAce

Don’t get so perky there sparky.

It’s also National MUTT Day.
Meant to celebrate mixed breed dogs the world over.

http://www.nationalmuttday.com/about.htm

So, Sys Admin persons get to share their special day with my mixed terrier and my neighbours 1/4 Lab, 1/4 Rottweiler, 1/4 Dachshund, 1/4 who knows mutts.

Oh, and just so you know, the Mutts get another day on December 2nd.

Now, don’t that make you feel extra happy? =)


56 posted on 07/31/2015 8:29:29 AM PDT by oldvirginian (TED CRUZ, because the Constitution matters.)
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To: Lucky9teen
F = Fleetwood Mac

I = Isley Brothers

D = Doors

E = Eagles

L = Little River Band

I = Intruders

S = Spandau Ballet

57 posted on 07/31/2015 8:31:51 AM PDT by fidelis (Zonie and USAF Cold Warrior)
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To: Ingtar
I want to move to Australia...they "get it"!! LOL
School Answering Machine

From the Maroochydore High School in Queensland, Australia, the staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual message on the machine for the school.
58 posted on 07/31/2015 8:34:54 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: blueunicorn6

Beastie Boys.....come on


59 posted on 07/31/2015 8:36:13 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
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To: Lucky9teen
Van Halen

ELO

REM

Garth Brooks

Aretha Franklin

60 posted on 07/31/2015 8:47:52 AM PDT by verga (I might as well be playng chess with pigeons.)
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