At the time, Union forces were under orders not to fire on Confederates unless attacked.
And, as Lincoln announced ahead of time to South Carolina's governor, ships sent to Fort Sumter were only intended to resupply, not to reinforce the garrison, so long as things remained peaceful.
But, given a choice, Confederate leaders did not want peace nearly as much as they wanted to force Sumter's surrender, and if that meant war, then so be it.
Jefferson Davis immediately ordered final preparations to assault Fort Sumter.
Finally, it's important to remember that no Confederate soldier was killed directly in battle with any Union force until the Battle of Big Bethel, June 10, 1861 -- months after the Confederacy first provoked, then started and formally declared war, while sending military aid to pro-Confederates in the Union state of Missouri.
I ask you again, did you read those messages and letters? They are inconsistent with your assertion.
I could not agree with Mr. BroJoeK more.