Posted on 06/05/2015 5:43:10 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Some old…some new…
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, Where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas - What other time of the year Do you sit in front of a dead
tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?
OK, here's a pie chart you can all understand...
Oops... too big, I dorked one of the tags. So much for trusting preview. /sad
F R I D A Y ! ! 1 !
So, I was walking through the mall and saw that there was a “Muslim Book Store”.
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and
asked if he could help me.
I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked,
“Do you have a copy of the U.S. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?”
The clerk said, “*%#!+^ off! Get out! And stay out!”
I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
Looks like a coked up Harry Reid.
If one is disgruntled, can one be gruntled ?
lol!
Much better than Krispy Krap!
Game of Thrones explained in 50 seconds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nopc6wY35J0
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