Collapse of the universe coming sooner than expected according to new research

AOL ^ | March 26th 2015 | unattributed

[SunkenCiv]

[Darksheare]

NOT my fault.
I unplugged the vacuum cleaner.

[The_Media_never_lie]

Women, children and minorities to feel greatest impact.

[kosciusko51]

Must be Global Warming or Bush’s fault...

So much for the living forever crowd at Google.

[GMMC0987]

That does it! I’m going to max out all my credit cards and run amok!

[txrefugee]

There will always be a seed time and harvest time until God draws the curtain on His story..

[Darksheare]

Undead Thread material?
“Join us as we collapse the universe”?

[aquila48]

Should I cancel my vacation?

[tet68]

So, it’s been expanding for billions of years and
will probably slow and remain stable for billions of
years and then take billions of years to collapse.

Meh. I should worry?

[SunkenCiv]

Thanks gleeaikin.

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[glock rocks]

Do I have time to buy some beer first?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Somehow the solution will be returning to feudalism and killing vast quantities of people.

[dfwgator]

[GraceG]

The American Debt is so big that the Imaginary Numbers that the fed is messing with has caused a divide by zero error in the universe itself, leading to a crash....

Seems Legit!

[Mr. K]

I think time reverses too

then you get to relive your whole life KNOWING at the start everything you did

It will be hell for some people

[stephenjohnbanker]

I think it only prudent that the UT be allowed to collapse the universe. After all, we created it......somewhat.

[BenLurkin]

Somebody let Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore onto the same elevator.

[dfwgator]

....and I feel fine.

[Darksheare]

Plenty of tim-

[MrB]

Well, of course! It’s Bush’s fault!