THIS!
Rent several and try them out.
Agreed. Head to your local range and take the time try to try out several models. Perhaps take the lessons first, in doing so learning which weapons best suit your particular needs.
+1
Or ask a trusted friend who is a responsible ‘gun nut’ to take you shooting with several weapons. Offer to buy a couple of boxes of ammo and I doubt you will be turned down.
No gun owner I know would pass up a chance to introduce someone to the sport (and of course ‘show off’ their own collection).
Although, if you do visit a range and rent a couple of different weapons, I will bet than when the other folks at the range find out you are interested in learning you will get several offers to try out their weapons right then and there. Gun nuts tend towards enthusiasm for their sport as well as generosity and gregariousness. Yo ight find it hard to get away.
Yep. Listen to Jim. I was teaching a neighbor of mine to shoot and she was looking at purse guns and spraying lead all over the range, tried a Browning Hi-Power, which is a largish 9mm, and all of a sudden it's one ragged hole in the center of the target. I never saw that coming but you can guess what she bought. You won't know what the right gun is until you've handled and shot a few. And you WILL find the right gun.
Beware of super-light carry guns. At this stage of your shooting career you're going to want to shoot a lot, and a titanium-frame .357 magnum just isn't much fun to shoot, and I ought to know. Even loaded down to .38 it's still not all that pleasant, and many carry guns aren't even designed to put thousands of rounds through. But a mid-size .38 revolver with, say, a 4" barrel shooting wad-cutters feels like a .22 and is fantastic to practice with. YMMV.
There simply isn't a "best" gun or best caliber or universal solution to any self-defense situation short of a crew-served weapon. I'm hedging my bets by trying to buy one of each. Seems reasonable to me. ;-)