You have to buy the handgun that fits your purpose and is comfortable in your grip - that will lead to confidence in using said weapon.
Buy at least a .40 cal...if not a .45cal - those are human stoppers!
I have trained females that shot the Springfield .45 much more confident than a S&W 4006 double stacked .40cal...because the grip pressure was more solid on the .45 than the 40.
Hammerless weapons and composite lowers are great in certain conditions...but Glocks wear off my skin on my middle finger during excessive shooting at the range due to the composite...
Like one said - rent or find someone that has a variety of handguns that you can shot. Don’t worry about the price - and make sure that compact versions do not limit your functionality on drawing and shooting said weapon...
Males and females respond differently to certain types of weapons...but in the end - it’s tool and one must learn to use a hammer to be a carpenter just like a person must learn to use a handgun for protection and self-defense...don’t over think it....keep it simple...and train often!
>> Buy at least a .40 cal...if not a .45cal ...
This is sometimes called the “mine is bigger than yours” syndrome. If you follow that path, and don’t like shooting it, you may end up trading it in for something more comfortable to shoot. .380 auto or 9mm is fine. (Or 38 special in a revolver.) In a defensive situation, placement of the first shot is far more important than caliber. This only comes from practice. Lotsa practice.
I’ve seen women walk out of gunstores (and bring to classes) firearms that they couldn’t even rack the slide.