Posted on 02/07/2015 8:01:13 PM PST by ransomnote
A few weeks ago, psychologist Randi Gunther discussed the fact that women still initiate the majority of divorces, even after men dutifully followed women into the new millennium.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We men learned how to change diapers and cook risotto. We learned to watch for barely perceptible nods of approval before opening doors for women. We even learned to manscape, for goodness sake.
Women were supposed to be happy with the new variety of men. Yet they are divorcing us just like they divorced our insensitive forefathers. Professor Gad Saad reported that American woman initiate 69% of divorces; the most recent British statistic is 72%.
Dr. Gunther, who specializes in repairing relationships, described some of the unhappily divorced men she meets in her office:
“I am currently dealing with several of these great husbands. They are, across the board, respectful, quality, caring, devoted, cherishing, authentic, and supportive guys whose wives have left them for a different kind of man.”
Who is this “different kind of man,” and why do women quit their marriages to pursue him? Dr. Gunther continues:
“The women I have treated who have left their husbands for more ‘masculine’ men believed that their new relationships would be able to both excite and nurture them.”
Clearly, this new stud is virile. He’s exciting. He possesses something that the “perfect” husband does not.
Dr. Gunther didn’t say it, but I will: it sounds as if many of today’s perfect, sensitive, cherishing men are… how shall I put this… boring.
Who can blame women for being bored with men these days? Far too many of us have lost our masculine fortitude. That fortitude has nothing to do with being dominant or avoiding vacuum cleaners. It’s a product of solid values and strong backbones.
(Excerpt) Read more at ironshrink.com ...
Yes of course.
This is why I believe men should marry women who are independent financially and MAKE SURE she’s telling the truth about her financial background.
Also an iron clad prenup and of course, various other legal protections.
It seems we don’t agree after all.
I do know families where those traditional roles work perfectly.
The main reason I’ve come to believe that wives should have a source of their own income is to protect themselves later if the husband leaves.
I have a truly perfect man. He’s a warrior who loves God.
“while women, as a group, are seeking something else, something that they are missing ...”
self-esteem, self-confidence with an added helping of the overwhelming need to ‘do something important’ and exciting, which usually ends with regret.
Absolute BS.
I see people relating their experiences. On the other hand, YOU are going out of your way to promote career as priority for women.
The absolutely worst boss is a woman. Those that reach this station seem to go out of their way to antagonize the males in the office as a way of demonstrating their “superiority”. What really irritates this kind of personality is a guy who is competent, quiet, and unassuming. This kind of woman, insecure in her own talent and position, hates anyone that is. It’s worse for a male. She will focus like a laser on humiliating the guy, demeaning him, and figure out a way to fire him to assuage her demons.
Right. Husbands have not shown themselves to be entirely reliable as stayers.
roflmto....too many of the men are mimicking Bart Simpson or those two guys in Modern Family! A Knight in Shining Armour hasn’t been seen since the Romantic era. In fact I haven’t seen a guy open a car door for a woman in years...so living up to that fantasy is a joke. No men I have known in past thirty years have done that, nor have I seen any men even try.
Men come in three categories now, the hunter who is always gone, the sports enthusiast (never home) or the couch potato (tv addict). I hear women complain all the time. I don’t, because my husband is too old for it to matter now...but he does the trash and helps where he can....there is a fantasy we were sold as children that never was part of a modern reality. The 1800s, yes.
Most women would settle for taking out the trash and helping around the house when they also work, NOT the laundry of course. My clothes were two sizes smaller when my husband did the wash after we first married, so I made him stop. Men have a problem looking at labels and interpreting them...such as dry clean only...or do not wash in hot water. Do not dry on hot, etc. Some ruin enough clothes, so they don’t have to do it at all.
The Princess is rare, and usually not marriage material until she has been on her own for years, and learned the lessons of life she was protected from at home.
People make choices on how to live but lie to the people they are dating to get them in a relationship, however they don’t live that way IRL. Once the couple marry it is like strangers because like Bryan Williams, the truth was never part of the dating process. “How can two walk together except they be agreed?”
A lot of what you describe, I see in my fellow men and I just want to knock some sense into them.
For instance, you were spot on with the sports addict. Now I'll watch a ball game now and then but keeping track of standings and statistics, and playing in "fantasy" leagues, that's for 12-year old kids, not for grown men.
Don't even get me started on how grown men go around wearing sports jerseys and other overprices "league-approved" clothing. I saw a 30-year-old slob the other day wearing sneakers, sweat pants and an "official" Tom Brady jersey. Unless you are actually a professional athlete and you are actually on the ball field, a grown man has no business wearing that attire in my opinion.
One thing you left out was the video-game addicts. Grown men, wasting their prime years in a darkened basement shooting people on a screen. Warning to the women out there. If you are dating a grown man who plays video games, get out while the getting is good.
I'll have you know I don't shoot people, I whack zombies with hammers.
And sometimes I order vast armies of 18th-century troops around.
Therefore, I am still a catch.
I love it that my second wife has ever thought that I should be like her girlfriends.
I also like it that she does not expect me to read her mind. On the very rare occasion I ask her if somethig is wrong; she will tell me staright out what it is. If she says, “nothing”,she actually means it.
Well if you are the commanding general or otherwise in the high command structure, we might give you a pass.
Let's get married.
Let's get married.
Yup.
You should get married; it will help your attitude.
LOL. There is a lot of truth in that.
Thanks....being a married female I have been out of the ‘dating’ process for a long time, and video games were not a problem back then. I can see your point though.
I agree about the Jersey’s, but former football and basketball players are still hanging on to high school...lol Reminds me of the Rob Lowe commercial and the Captain of the Team.
I do not think I would do well in this dating atmosphere today. I had enough trouble getting to where I am now.
:)
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