In addition to these humorous (but true to life) stories I highly recommend my passive/aggressive Supermarket Strategy.
If you local hypermart carries lamb and beef products marked “Halal” then as you stroll through inspecting the meat, just accidentally allow a package of bacon or pig’s feet to find its way out of your cart into the pile of meat offered to Allah.
Then stand back and wait for the fun!
Now that’s a perfect plan!
Look out WalMart!