Posted on 12/19/2014 4:33:05 AM PST by Lucky9teen
I usually go up to 11!
would have been here sooner but they were showing “Fort Apache” on TV. Cant pass up Henry Fonda and John Wayne.
Sacrificing your spot in the Top Ten for the sake of Fort Apache is a noble thing.
Top 30 Something!
HOLLYWOOD (KCNA) The Revolutionary Artists Committee of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is happy to announce that His Excellency Kim Jong-un will host the 87th annual Academy Awards. This will be the first time a supreme leader of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea has led the ceremony, but it most certainly will not be the last.
All peoples celebrate Dear Leaders most humble decision to host the Oscars, said Sony Pictures Chairman and CEO Michael Lynton. We have witnessed his strength and honor from afar and welcome the divine opportunity to explode our love in his presence. To obey Doctor Leaders magnanimous offer to host the Oscars is perfect joy, all of his resources and talent coming together on global stage.
Lynton helped redesign the iconic Oscar statuette to better model the ideal human form and offered a stern warning for enemies of the Juche Spirit. The vile capitalist running-dogs Seth Rogen and James Franco do shame the nation and Hollywood-industry with their thrice-cursed crimes, he said via short-wave radio. Such villains of the Eternal Party will pay for their heinous betrayals and scandals which the era shall dutifully record.
The multiple crimes committed by the accused will be proven at start of the Oscars, followed by a public confession and swift execution.
All traitors will feel the bite of Kim Jong-uns hot heel, said Paramount Pictures head Brad Grey. I will applaud the end of reactionary hooligans who deliver naught but indolence and shame. We strongly denounce false films like Team America which spread shuddering lies in a crafty manner.
A triple-threat performer, Kim Jong-un has enjoyed a wildly successful career in his home country. He wins every award in song, sport and cinema, much like his fathers before him. The early front-runner for Best Picture is Glorious Baekdu-mountain Give Sun Energy while the single nominee for Best Song is Joyous Beet Tractor, Shine in His Prospering. A lifetime achievement award will be granted to Russell from the Pixar film Up.
Spirit of the World-nation Kim Jong-un is pleased both with his hosting duties and the awards he will win. I am contented beyond happiness. Despite savage anti-party plots to create illusion, the mighty river flows under the bridge. The lineage of Paektu will remain undergirded and irreplaced.
The Oscars will be held at the Dolby Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, and will be broadcast live on all channels. We strongly advise every citizen to watch.
Ironic:
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Husband says, "Of course I do. Why would you say that"?
Wife says, "You don't carry me up the stairs to bed anymore like you used to".
Husband says "You're not six years old anymore".
Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me (nobama knows the words to this one by heart)
Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Now that’s funny.
White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'
- The Peoples Cube
That first pic is a keeper.....
Is that some kind of really twisted bondage game?
TOP 40!!!!
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