[Slings and Arrows]

Now I really, really want to ask him for bacon.

[shibumi]

There is a local chain of “hypermarts” that competes directly with Walmart and Target.

They have a excellent produce section, but just average meat products.

I noticed some time ago that the lamb was all marked with the Arabic “halal” symbol. I conveyed my displeasure to the manager and assured him that I would spread he word that his meat had been consecrated to demon idols. I’m sure he wrote me off as a religious nut.

The halal lamb is still there, but on each trip through the store I pick up a package of pig’s feet or bacon and “accidentally” it slips out of my cart right onto the halal meat.

Oh! For shame!

[a fool in paradise]

Now I really, really want to ask him for bacon.

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender says "No, I don't have any grapes." The duck waddles out, disappointed.

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender says "No, as I told you before I don't have any grapes!" The duck looks surprised and waddles out, disappointed.

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender looks at the duck incredulously and says, "No! This is a bar and if you come back in here again and ask me if I have any grapes, I will nail your feet to the floor!"

The duck sighs and waddles out of the bar.

The next day, the duck walks into the bar and asks, "Got any nails?"

The bartender says, "No, this is a bar not a hardware store!"

So the duck says, "Got any grapes?"