Posted on 12/12/2014 4:27:57 AM PST by Lucky9teen
That’s the one...lol! Senile old bat!
No, number 31. Now get to the back of the line!
Mother: ‘Hello?’
Daughter: ‘Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?’
Mother: ‘You’re going out?’
Daughter: ‘Yes.’
Mother: ‘With whom?’
Daughter: ‘With a friend.’
Mother: ‘I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.’
Daughter: ‘MOM, I didn’t leave him. He left me!’
Mother: ‘You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.’
Daughter: ‘MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?’
Mother: ‘I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.’
Daughter: ‘There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.’
Mother: ‘What are you hinting at?
Daughter: ‘Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..’
Mother: ‘You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?’
Daughter: ‘MA, its My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!’
Mother: ‘So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?’
Daughter: ‘MOM, He’s not a loser.’
Mother: ‘A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.’
Daughter: ‘MA, I don’t want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?’
Mother: ‘Poor children with such a mother. ‘With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.’
Daughter: ‘ENOUGH MA!!!’
Mother: ‘Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!’
Daughter: ‘Great MA, Now you’re worried about the loser?’
Mother: ‘Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.’
Daughter: ‘Goodbye, mother.’
Mother: ‘Wait! Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over? ‘
Daughter: ‘I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!’
Mother: ‘If you never go out ...how do you expect to meet anyone?”
Friday???? When the hell did THAT happen?
Totally LATE, but happy to be here.
That’s Andy...Damn you Andy.
I phoned my wife earlier.....
“I’m just heading off from work, do you want me to pick up burgers and fries on my way home?”
It was met with a stony silence. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
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Women...nature’s version of a Rubik cube.
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The extraordinary work of the NYPD
. . . always takes my breath away.
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I’m going to start publishing a men’s magazine similar to Penthouse, it will be called My House.
The centerfold will be exactly the same every month except her butt gets bigger.
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I have a bumper sticker that says, “honk if you think I’m sexy”...
I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself.
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