Again, I admit to underestimating how utterly ignorant of real history you are, and how eager to distort and mock it.
So I'll briefly repeat my post above: Lincoln met & discussed with representatives from Virginia's secession convention, at one point suggesting to them that a Virginia pledge of loyalty to the Union could be enough to allow Lincoln to abandon Fort Sumter.
But the importance of Virginia's pledge was in-no-way to recognize the Confederacy, but rather to free Lincoln's hands, without threat of further secessions, to take such actions as Lincoln deemed necessary & proper to restore the Union!
I'm getting less interested in responding to you. You are trying to sell the idea that abandoning Ft. Sumter was a good negotiating tactic on the one hand, but a Rubicon on the other. "Principles" as I understand the word, are not so flexible. When they are so flexible, they are not principles.
From my perspective, you seem to be flailing and pinwheeling, and I think i'm just as well off to get out of the way and let you. :)