10 secret rules of working in Disney's Magic Kingdoms

It may seem to some as something of a dream job - working alongside childhood heroes such as Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck. But in order to get, and keep, a job as a character at a Disney park or resort, employees must abide by a number of strict rules, ranging from the obvious to the bizarre. For anyone thinking of trying to get a job at a Magic Kingdom, here is a rundown of some of the more idiosyncratic employee rules implemented by the bosses at Disney.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had to debunk this...

So-called “gay days” are not sponsored or promoted by Disney. A group of private individuals put it together each year. They get group rates from Disney, to be sure, but so can any group that buys in large enough quantity.

To wit, there’s no reason there can’t be a “Free Republic” event at Disney, other than the fact that no one has put one together. We’d get the same group rates and consideration.

Ask a member of the Disney World cast a question, and they have to supply an answer. They are not allowed to simply say 'I don't know.'

"What is the average wind speed of an unladen swallow?"

When my kids were little, I used to take them to Disneyland. Or was it Disneyworld? I always got those two mixed up but it was the one in Florida.

Anyway, I hated those trips. Always waiting in long lines in the hot sun to take a 90-second ride.

20 minute waits to purchase a $5 glass of lemonade. They say there is a bar there but it is hidden from view and only accessible by an elite group of people.

The only good part of those trips was the obligatory trip to Epcot Center. I would tell the kids to go have fun and meet me in six hours in Germany (at the world restaurants). Then I'd go from country to country imbibing an alcoholic beverage at each one. A margarita in Mexico. A scorpion bowl in China and so on. I'd end up in Germany nearly passed out and my wife or kids would usually find me there and lead me back to the hotel resort.

I don't like the rides there. Way too fast and all herky-jerky. The movie themed rides are pretty lame. They still had "Back to the Future" ride when I was last there and that movie came out something like 30 years ago.

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