Posted on 06/27/2014 2:36:24 PM PDT by nickcarraway
ear Demetria:
I am the mother of two. I have an amazing husband and father to my children. The last child is not his, and he is unaware. His best friend and I had a one-night stand two years ago when my hubby was out of town. I can’t bring myself to come clean.
I just started going to therapy about this. The guilt is making me miserable. I feel honesty would break our whole family apart. I'm afraid to find out what my husband may do. —Anonymous
My grandmother had a saying about truth: “What’s done in the dark will always come to the light.” You’ve been carrying some huge secrets, and despite trying to ignore and avoid them, they’ve come to the forefront of your mind nearly three years later with a crippling vengeance that’s making you miserable.
I’m glad you’re in therapy. That’s a good starting point. If you have a good therapist, she or he will help you find the courage to “come clean,” as you put it, and tell your husband the truth about your affair and the child that resulted from it. It’s not the easy thing to do, but it is the right course of action here for everyone involved, including you.
Your husband deserves to know the truth, and sooner rather than later.
(Excerpt) Read more at theroot.com ...
I agree he should be told now, as much for the child’s future as for the husband’s present; however, the marriage, even if it survives, will never be the same and there is a good chance it will not survive.
she cheated.... but he might destroy the marriage? what?
I was referring to a hypothetical situation where a poster claimed the husband likely already knew. Once that is out in the open, it is a potent weapon in the hand of the husband. Most couple fight sometimes. If he brought that up often instead of forgiving is wife, it would have a detrimental effect on the marriage. I am not blaming him. If this was my wife, I would leave the cheating b*tch.
How can this woman be so sure the child’s father is the other man? I think she should keep her mouth shut.
I’ve read statistics that suggest that 5 to 10% of children at any time in any society are not the child of the mother’s husband or partner.
Meaning that all of our family trees are not accurate.
I’ve read statistics that suggest that 5 to 10% of children at any time in any society are not the child of the mother’s husband or partner.
Meaning that all of our family trees are not accurate.
This has got to be the worst advice counseling I’ve seen since somebody advised people to vote for Obama, because he would bring “Hope and Change”.
The best bet to the man she cheated with was, when she is going to tell her husband, tell the cheater that he had better leave town for a while, with house sitters, and only come back when and if her husband is no longer in a murderous rage.
She needs to get her husband to counseling with her, and only after several sessions with the counselor she should fess up to him with several other people present. Her best bet is to start by telling him that she has overwhelming feelings of jealousy, thinking that he is cheating on her.
But yes, getting DNA test results before any of this is a very good idea.
That would be my take. By ‘fessing up, the woman relieves her own guilt but potentially damages her marriage/family, her husband, and ALL children. For what purpose? If later there’s a valid reason to let the child know, hopefully s/he will be mature enough to handle the truth. Unfortunately, she made a stupid mistake and she will have to live with the consequences, not make others suffer along with her.
Having raised two step children from toddlers, the answer is she already knows who her "father" is...
The one who loves her today, tomorrow and forever unless that love is tested by a remorseful wife..
A second more important point does her "real father" even know she is his...
What if he rejects his daughter, after all he had no problem banging his best friends wife !!!
I guess the question is genetics
Pretty low chances of that being a problem...
All in all, as they say "let sleeping dogs lay"
That is a very very disturbing picture
Your husband deserves to decide for himself whether he wants to continue a marriage with you.
She did it; she should live with it. Why does she want to destroy the others around her, too?
Tell her to stop being selfish and trying to put her guilt on top of the others around her.
Her choice and action will be dealt with on Judgment Day, either at the Bema Seat of Christ or the Great White Throne Judgment.
Tell me this is a joke...
She's the one who already destroyed the marriage. Whatever happens from this point is 100% her fault.
Great. May as well destroy the entire family.
And I call BS on a “one night stand” Sorry. Not buying it. This went on way longer than a one night stand. And his best friend is not much of a best friend for banging his best friend’s wife.
And seeing a therapist because SHE feels so bad. Poor widdle baby.
Chances are her feminize liberal therapist will have he confess he sins and make her out as the victim of an uncaring horrible husband. The state will grant custody to the adulterous woman and he’ll be thrown out of the house with supervised visitation ever 2 weeks.
Exactly, she already destroyed the marriage. She deserves anything that could happen as a result of confessing. She has thrown away her husband’s opportunity to be married for life to a woman who loves him. The least she can do is accept the consequences of her betrayal.
You sluuuut.
*****************************
The marriage is not destroyed. No marriage is perfect, because people are not perfect.
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