You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Posted on 05/09/2014 6:04:35 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said," I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you, both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote the first son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Marvin," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"
"Dearest Melvin," she wrote to her third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. That chicken was delicious."
You’re a mom, not a cleaning lady.
Oh, hell no.
Is this a gift for you? Or your partner?
Basically sex, but you’re expected to dress up for it, too. Swell.
1. Joke gifts are not cool on Mother’s Day, 2. This had better be a joke gift if your significant other wants to live.
Explaining to your neighbor why half of their flower bed has been torn up isn’t exactly how you want to spend Mother’s Day.
If you asked for these specifically this is an awesome gift. If not, WTF?
Really? Not even a card? You can really feel the love.
Homemade gifts are the best, that is, unless your kid took scissors to the living room drapes to acquire “materials.”
Your family appreciates you so much that they got you 10% of your next visit to Chili’s.
This is adorable until you realize you’ll be dining on fuzzy, severely burned toast and scrambled eggs mixed with M&Ms.
AKA how your significant other gets you to cook them a steak every month.
The stock image photo of a family that comes with the frame may be cute, but you’d much prefer one of your own family.
They say it’s the thought that counts, which is true, except for when the thought was to spend $3.99 or less.
What every mom wants to hear, “You’re a great mom! And fat!”
This one will go over about as well as the Weight Watchers gift certificate.
“Hey, Mom, mind if I play with your gift a little while?”
These are even worse when your significant other gives the same thing to their mother.
“The kids and I have to, uh, just run out for a sec, hon!” FAIL.
The Three Stooges were a big part of my growing up years, but they did NOT harm each other. It was
make believe, and not the same issue as laughing at a cat that may be maimed and in agony or dead.
You and Travis disgust me.
You disgust me, old hag. You get nasty with people on the internet over incorrect assumptions? That really shows poor character. Troll.
And it was funny.
There is zero indication of what happened to the cat at all. You’re assuming it is all right, and I’m saying that it may very well be badly hurt.
You have no right to order me off this site, and I wouldn’t dream of calling you a troll and ordering you to leave.
You just get better and better with every post. Do continue.
I'll put it this way. She is probably the most beautiful 66 yr old woman you will ever see and all natural to boot.
It hit, shook it’s head, and runs off...
I was more worried when my Wife’s cat Corey launched himself off a second story railing trying to catch a robin.
Low hanging fruit, eh?
Exactly, but why go with reality when you can feign outrage and insult people over your own stupidity.
Prove it.
:)
There is no need for the aspersions. Go back and watch the video again. The cat hits to the door, shakes it’s head, and runs off... It didn’t hit nearly hard enough to hurt it badly.
The fact it happened on a live broadcast adds a little flavor too...
Relax.
Some folks are cat lovers and probably feel a certain amount of outrage over Icanhazcheesburger.
TheOldLady is normally good folk. She’s just got a bee in her bonnet over this.
Don’t take the internet too seriously. It ain’t healthy for you...
If this is the “kicked cat,” the man was arrested for animal cruelty today.
Pls take it off line you two
Thanks
Nope. The link I posted was foreign news coverage of some new bistro opening up. Live news coverage when it happened, supposedly.
Cat comes running in to the screen from frame-right. Hits an open glass door. Shakes it’s head. Gets up and runs off screen-left.
Just like all those cats, dogs, birds, raccoons, and people on America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Switch right and left... Went back and watched it again...
I will trust TheOldLady’s judgment on this and not go see it. I’ve seen enough to know that judgment is usually sound. It sounds like one showing a dog jumping out the window of a truck that many found funny awhile back. It was funny for many, but all I could think of was the minimum of two broken legs the dog suffered.
‘Really?’ Pam replies, ‘Why did you switch?’
‘Well, for two reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, and second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them,’ chortled Hannah.
If her picture was still on the website it used to be on, I’d post it in a minute.
And she doesn’t have her picture on her FB page.
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