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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Know Your Meme ^

Posted on 03/21/2014 5:57:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Mysterious Light On Saturn Moon. (crash of the Mayalsia jet?)

As the search for the missing Malaysia Airlines flight drags into its 12th day without tangible progress, Internet sleuths are looking for answers. Any answers. From anyone.

The characteristically outspoken Courtney Love was the latest self-styled expert to weigh in with her theory last night on Twitter — which is marvelously evidence-based (!), as far as such theories go. Love, one of the thousands of people scouring crowdsourced satellite site Tomnod for signs of the plane, thinks it crashed into the ocean a mile from the small Malaysian island of Pulau Perak.

View image on Twitter

Courtney Love Cobain
@Courtney

really? look closer? check it out @DR24 and its like a mile away Pulau Perak, where they "last" tracked it

1:25 AM - 17 Mar 2014


2,711 Retweets

1,205 favorites

But what of the Internet’s more imaginative conspiracy theorists — you know, the ones who think the Defense Department orchestrates natural disasters and 9/11 was an inside job? They have a few ideas that make Love look like a veritable aviation expert. We trawled their message boards and YouTube channels so you don’t have to.

 

 

1. The plane never crashed — it’s just invisible! In a twist straight out of the”Star Wars” saga, some theorists are claiming that Flight 370 deployed “electronic weaponry” and “cloaking devices” that have simply hid it from radar detection. “Today’s electronic warfare (EW) capability includes weaponry that can hide planes,” argues an article on the skepticism-inducing WorthyToShare.net, which sadly offers no solution to how said weaponry would get on a passenger plane.

 

 

 

2. Flight 370 “shadowed” another plane into Indian airspace. An Ohio IT worker/hobby aviationist named Keith Ledgerwood apparently started a Tumblr for the sole purpose of propagating this theory — with pretty decent results. His lengthy post on how the missing plane could “hide” from radar by flying close to another jet has been reblogged nearly a thousand times. “It sounds totally crazy,” an aircraft accident investigator told Business Insider.

Crazy — but possible! Airplanes can indeed fly in formation. The chances of coordinating and timing such a coordination are just very, very slim.




3. The plane has been at a U.S. Navy base the whole time. The U.S. maintains a logistics base called Diego Garcia in the Chagos Archipelago. Because the Chagos Archipelago is in the Indian Ocean, and because Diego Garcia does indeed have a runway, many a theorist has joyfully concluded that the U.S. military either (a) captured the plane, (b) shot it down as it swooped in for an attack, or (c) planned to divert it to the installation all along. No one ever explains why the U.S. would take such an extraordinary measure, though The Total Collapse — a prepper Web site that predicts the apocalypse —  is convinced that the plane carried some “highly suspicious cargo” from Seychelles.

It doesn’t exactly help that Diego Garcia is, per a book by American University’s David Vine, “one of the most strategically important and secretive U.S. military installations outside the United States.” As maps of the search area make pretty clear, however, the island is far from either of the routes suggested by Flight 370’s last satellite contact — which would put it west of Perth, Australia, or above the southeast Asian mainland.

 

4. The plane was shot down by a hostile country that is not the U.S. This gem comes courtesy of radio host Rush Limbaugh, who posited that “some hostile country flew up there and shot it down, and then discovered their mistake and nobody wants to admit what happened,” immediately after acknowledging that he had no idea “if this is possible” or not.  5. Flight 370 was hijacked by extremists — possibly jihadists — who may re-outfit the plane for an attack. None other than media mogul Rupert Murdoch has advanced the hijacking theory, arguing on Twitter that the plane is hidden, “like Bin Laden” (!), in Northern Pakistan. Others have read nefarious future plans into the hijacking, fed by a weekend report in the Telegraph that al-Qaeda may have, at one time, been planning a “9/11-style attack” with Malaysian extremists. Pakistan has said its radars never picked up a jet.

 

 

 

 

6. The flight was abducted by aliens. “You really need to consider Santa Clause here bro,” retorted a user on the conspiracy forum Above Top Secret — one of many, many places where the alien/time-space continuum/wormhole theory has been proposed.

 





 

 


7. The Illuminati planned it — and even warned the world in a Pitbull song! Pitbull seems like an unlikely herald of the coming New World Order, but some amazingly earnest YouTube commenters insist that his 2012 song “Get It Started,” featuring Shakira, alludes to the plane’s disappearance. The lyrics contain a passing reference to Malaysia: “but for now it’s off to Malaysia/two passports, three cities, two countries, one day.”  

Per the YouTube masses, the “two passports” are the two stolen passports used by Iranian passengers apparently migrating to Europe, and the three cities are Kuala Lumpur, Beijing and wherever the plane is now. Alas, Pitbull and his Illuminati masters did not think to include that third location in the song.



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: malaysia; mh370; ofst; silliness
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To: relentlessly

Russian Mardi Gras? Godless commies celebrating the beginning of Lent?

Kewl!

Hey! Where’s the woman who arrived in America as a slave, Sheila Jackson “muss I daah?” Lee? She’s about the biggest boob there is.


61 posted on 03/21/2014 9:14:29 AM PDT by TheOldLady
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To: Lucky9teen
I tried posting this article yesterday. It got yanked so fast I think they zotted it while I was still in the preview window.

Meet Europe's most virile man - and generous sperm donor - who's fathered 98 children

62 posted on 03/21/2014 9:53:34 AM PDT by Pan_Yan (Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11)
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To: Pan_Yan
Talk about silly...
Occupy founder launches White House petition asking Obama to disband US Gov, give country to Google


63 posted on 03/21/2014 10:11:14 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

64 posted on 03/21/2014 10:22:22 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

65 posted on 03/21/2014 11:29:27 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: relentlessly

66 posted on 03/21/2014 11:35:36 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: Lucky9teen

67 posted on 03/21/2014 11:45:00 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

Makes more sense than Common Core math!


68 posted on 03/21/2014 12:01:38 PM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: Liberty Valance

Okay that’s funny right there.


69 posted on 03/21/2014 12:10:41 PM PDT by Pan_Yan (Who told you that you were naked? Genesis 3:11)
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To: Lucky9teen

70 posted on 03/21/2014 12:25:54 PM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I'm not anti-government, government's anti-me.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers
Lock up your bike, so it doesn't get stolen


Just don't do it like the liberals do.
71 posted on 03/21/2014 1:04:18 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: a fool in paradise
I still believe Courtney Love will find it.


72 posted on 03/21/2014 1:12:44 PM PDT by Daffynition ("If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." ~ Henry Ford)
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To: Lucky9teen
One last try......


73 posted on 03/21/2014 4:07:38 PM PDT by relentlessly
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To: martin_fierro; Lucky9teen; Charles Henrickson

74 posted on 03/21/2014 4:34:29 PM PDT by mikrofon (Debris is Irrelevant ... Searching is Irrelevant ...)
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To: JRios1968

dude


75 posted on 03/21/2014 4:39:38 PM PDT by Godzilla (3/7/77)
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To: a fool in paradise

time out


76 posted on 03/21/2014 4:40:08 PM PDT by Godzilla (3/7/77)
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To: Daffynition

Safety First!




Neither of them are wearing goggles.
77 posted on 03/21/2014 6:11:51 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ~ Albert Einstein)
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To: envisio

Years ago when I was in the Navy, come back from 6 weeks at sea working midnight to noon. Got to my apartment around 4 PM, no food. Ordered a pizza and went and bought a 6 pack of beer. Ate and went to bed. Woke up around 2 AM, only thing to eat was the pizza and beer, so that’s what I had.


78 posted on 03/21/2014 7:08:01 PM PDT by fredhead (Join the Navy and see the world.....77% of which is covered in water.)
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To: Lucky9teen
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."

None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.

"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."

That's My Baby

79 posted on 03/22/2014 12:53:53 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: verga

It’s a good one...............


80 posted on 03/26/2014 5:34:06 PM PDT by Osage Orange (I have strong feelings about gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be controlling it.)
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