How to Answer Stupid Job Interview Questions

LinkedIn ^ | 08 March 2014 | Liz Ryan

[Sergio]

bkmk

[El Cid]

If you’re asked what is 1+1 your answer should be “whatever you want it to be”

LOL!
'Would like me to shine your shoes, your worship'?

[MissH]

Thank you - I am excited to show it to my husband who has been looking for work since the first of the year. He has had his share of interviews with likely less qualified persons than himself but continues to plug away. This will be nice for him to read.

[discostu]

Often times the point of “stupid” questions is to see your reaction, watch the wheels turn, see how honest you are. I work in software QA, when I’m interviewing candidates they need to be able to be brutally honest but non-confrontational. Dumb questions can be good for that.

[Lazamataz]

Instead, I ask “What are you most often criticized for”

"Well, my last boss got kinda sick of all the time off I had to take to see my Parole officer....and, of course, all his repeated visits to inspect the workplace for weapons and to make sure all my restraining orders are being followed."

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

:: 1. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be? ::

I’m sorry, I thought this interview was for a properly educated human being. Since you are looking for an animal, I’ll stop wasting your time. Bye.

[PapaBear3625]

"This job has been open for a while," said Angie. "What would you say is the reason it's taken some time to find the right person?" "I'm choosy," said the interviewer, and that was that.

Probable honest answer you will never hear: "We want a cheap H1B, but we have to make the pretense of interviewing a number of Americans so we can document that we were unsuccessful in finding a qualified non-H1B applicant".

[Lazamataz]

When I grow up, I want to be you.

[9422WMR]

#3. How does that make you feel?

Oh wait, this is an interview, not therapy......./S

[Lazamataz]

: 1. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?

"The kind of animal that embezzles company funds, and who is a serial sexual harasser."

[Mr. K]

yeah I understood that- thats why I figured there really was no right or wrong answer, they just want to watch you try answer it. So I figured I would at least try to make them laugh. Not only can I wrote good software but I am FUNNY too :)

[Maine Mariner]

And economics positions as well.
As we all know an economist is an accountant with a personality.

[Lazamataz]

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

"Admiring the reclining chair I upholstered with your skin."

[Revolting cat!]

Why aren’t manholes round?

[Foundahardheadedwoman]

I recently got a job and one of the questions on the app was, Would having a manager at your side make you work harder or not? or something to that affect.

I replied that that would depend more on the manager then me. If he wanted me to entertain him, go get his laundry, or tell me stories about his terrible home life, or get his lunch I am afraid he would be in for a shock, I do none of those things. I told I have never done those things and I don’t plan to in the future.

I will tell a short story about a manager I once had who was a total control freak. He would send salesman to get lunch for himself and other managers. One day was my lucky day. I said sure write down all the things you want and I will be happy to get them.

He wrote down his list handed me money and the list. I got everything on the list and handed back the change and his purchases. Soon he came to me and asked me where the forks and spoons and knives and salt and pepper and butter and sour cream were. I said was it on your list? He said no. I said then I guess that is why you didn’t get them. I told you to write down everything you needed and since it wasn’t on the list I figured you already had them.

I was never asked to go after lunch again.

[Maine Mariner]

Good for your CEO!!

[Tenacious 1]

And that will ensure a miserable experience on the job. If career satisfaction isn’t important, that’s one thing, but interviews are a two-way street. The applicant should also be assessing whether the position/company is right for him/her.

Correct. I just finished an 18 months on and off employment consideration with a company that reached out to me. I've talked on the phone with them about 6 times (3 official interviews). We only a months ago decided it wasn't going to work in the short term, even though I was "the perfect candidate" they were looking to groom for a top executive position 5 to 7 years down the road. In the end, on both sides, the risk was too high for the reward. I would insist on more than they wanted to pay for at least the first 2 years. If I'd have rolled the dice and it didn't work, I would be unemployed in a different city with a family to support and no income. We couldn't agree on the starting compensation package on the bet I'd be exactly what they hoped.

The unsaid component is that I was suspicious of the character that I would be working for. He "had a lot to teach the person that they hire". He had more degrees than a thermometer and told me more about himself than he asked of myself. He also did not fit the type of person the company claimed about his position. So my risk calculation was in part based on what kind of a fit it would be for me and them.

[Tenacious 1]

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

At your desk.

I have actually used that. In fact, in the interview for the job I have now. They hired me. That was 2.5 years ago. I'm almost there. LOL

[bigbob]

“Top Dog, the one who hires and fires people who ask stupid questions when interviewing candidates”.

[Billthedrill]

It’s a game. I only ever went off the rails once, and it was when I saw my next boss starting to roll his eyes at some of the HR questions. They asked me the classic, “Do you consider yourself a People Person?” I snarled, “No, I’m a System Administrator! I HATE my users and I want them to suffer!” Jaws dropped until the boss snorted and then started to laugh hysterically. I’m still in that job.