If your friend’s husband were asked by one of their kids if his illness is terminal, would he say yes, or would he dissemble? We all have different family dynamics, and one size does not fit all.
I was hurt and appalled when I realized MrT5 had known for weeks he would not recover, and had not told me-but hard as it was for me, I came to accept that it was his life, and how he managed the end of it was between him and God. I’ve regretted that I did not force him to stop the treatments that led to his demise, but it would have been wrong of me to do so-it was not my body or my life...
They have no idea he’s remotely sick. They know nothing. It’s a complete charade of normalcy while each month he spends two days in a hotel recuperating from chemo 2 mi from home. Goes so far as to have his secty order candy from cities he claims he’s traveling to at that time so as to bring them a gift. It is INSANITY. Should he die they may ever regret not having spent more time with him etc. He is depriving them of choices that may have lasting consequences.