Well, ya can’t have THAT, but — if you are an American citizen, you are entitled to:
a solar heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven (don’t watch the food cook),
a Dyna-Gym (I’ll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home),
a king-size Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year’s supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan’s new unlisted phone number,
a beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary’s baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams,
a new Matador,
a new mastodon,
a Maverick,
a Mustang,
a Montego,
a Merc Montclair,
a Mark IV,
a Meteor,
a Mercedes,
an MG, or a Malibu,
a Mort Moriarty,
a Maserati,
a Mac truck,
a Mazda,
a new Monza, or a moped,
a Winnebago — Hell, a herd of Winnebago’s we’re giving ‘em away,
or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby’s arm holding an apple?
How did you know what I want from life?