Posted on 08/11/2013 1:32:57 PM PDT by Utilizer
My greatest fear is dying alone and no one knowing I’ve died until several months later and finding my cat has feasted on me.........
Always leave lots of food around ... then maybe you’ll be found before the cops have to sift the litter tray .... :)
and...
43. Cats are not at all concerned about talking about their day.
44. Cats accept your curtains just the way they are and feel no need to change them.
45. As long as there is a place to lie on, whatever your furniture looks like is just fine.
46. Cats do not feel a need to rearrange your medicine cabinet.
47. Your socks are just fine wherever you decide to drop them. Putting them away in drawers just makes it more interesting when they fish them out and toss them all over.
48. When a cat goes through your toilet-paper roll, you can generally roll it back up and continue useing it with no problem.
49. Like many women, cats are fascinated by toilets, but want the padded toilet seats for quite different reasons.
50. Cats become quite annoyed when you insist on vacuuming, especially when they are comfortably laying across the hallway carpet.
51. Cats do not feel a compelling need to bring you with them when they decide to visit old friends.
52. Cats do not lecture you on how intellectual whatever pursuit you should be enguaged in.
53. Cats do not try to ‘remake’ you into something you are not. It is painfully obvious that you are not a cat, so attainment of perfection will forever be beyond your grasp so they do not waste time berating you about it.
54. Cats do not randomly moan about how they should have listened to their mother.
55. Cats do not dream of someday owning a large swimming-pool. Nightmares, perhaps.
56. Pink is not necessary for everything a cat owns. Or diamonds, for that matter.
57. No, a pony is not every young cat’s favourite wish.
58. When you are feeling especially stressed out, cats are excellent at shredding old bills.
See #48 on The List...
Make an arrangement with friends, neighbors or family to briefly check in once a day and to come check on you if you miss one. That’s what I do for my mom. We’ve done it for a very elderly aunt who wanted to stay in her home as long as possible too. After the third time we came and got her up from falling to the floor, she knew it was time for assisted living.
Kudos!
They're 100% pussy?
Beats being 100% classless a-hole.
Well, for me it’d be “why cats are better than (most) people, period!
"Eh, you might want to rethink that one." She says while looking at what once were some very nice curtains.
"Shred" is something else indeed. *grin*
Perhaps if I were to use, “swap them” instead of “change”? Along with looking for more points to add to the list, I am still editing it in its entirety to make a more concise and grammatically sensible listing later.
Nah, some of us can take a joke. :-) In fact here is another male list:
IT’S GOOD TO BE A GUY BECAUSE:
Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t give a rat’s butt if someone notices your new haircut.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the time.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, “He must be mad at me.”
You don’t mooch off each other’s desserts.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal.
You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
That's not what the dog thinks!
*laugh* Okay, THAT was cute.
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