[yldstrk]

look you greedy brides

if you want the wedding of your girlish dreams understand it is on your own nickle

if you want people there to share your joy, you don’t charge them

I hate the gimme attitude that has taken over this country

the spread sheet has become a monster.

Or have the wedding at church and a get together in your mom’s hovel, that would be cheap

but don’t dun your guests

[Venturer]

Weddings have gotten insanely expensive. Funerals are just as bad. At $15,000 to bury the stiff and another $5,000 to feed the stiffs friends at the wake I cannot afford to die. Luckily at weddings I can just stay home.

[bgill]

When people throw wedding that cost more than a small country’s GNP, they shouldn’t complain about not having money. A cash gift is crass unless it’s from an elderly aunt who can’t shop or from the parents giving the couple a downpayment on a house.

[ShadowAce]

Wow—my wedding cost $600.00. Half for the dress and half for the hot air balloon.

[PowderMonkey]

One of the most enduring wedding gifts we received came from one of my former colleagues. It is a simple bright yellow plastic wall clock (about $5). It became the first piece of interior decor for our first domicile. It was a little 2-bedroom apartment, and it hung on the wall of its little galley kitchen. It followed us to every new home since. Thirty years later, it still keeps perfect time in our current home. Not a day goes by that I don't stop to look at that little yellow clock, and smile recalling my friend. Some of life's greatest treasures are simple little things.

[Leo Carpathian]

It should come down to what kind of wedding reception and where.
Backyard, church basement/hall, restaurant cheap/fancy, hotel/wedding factory, wedding venue, destination wedding.

Guests should try to at least cover the cost of “plate”, which could range from $40 to $150.
If one can’t afford the “fee”, then decline invitation and send the gift. Better way is to see how the wedding, venue, food and overall atmosphere goes and reward the newlyweds appropriately. Nowadays it is nice to see normal people getting married and they appreciate any generosity to help them start new life in this overtaxed reality.

Wedding is not just reception for the newlyweds, but occasion for close and distant family, friends to get together and celebrate the sanctity of marriage while enjoying the socializing at the wedding venue.

We were recently at perfect destination wedding at www.MVmanor.com (NY, NJ, PA corner) and enjoyed meeting family, witnessing happy occasion and rewarding newlyweds for their efforts to start the new family.

Whata difference from “cocktail and finger food reception wedding” in NYC. Some don’t even bother getting married, or......

[mrs. a]

mr. a and I were married in 1993. We paid for the entire wedding ourselves and yes, it was very expensive.

Our goal was to throw a big party for our friends and loved ones to celebrate our marriage. We certainly didn’t tot up the cost of the gifts to see if we were making a profit. Heck, I’m sure some of the guests didn’t even give us gifts. Their choice.

It’s a party to celebrate a life event - not a shakedown.

[ClearBlueSky]

How low class! IF you want FRIENDS to watch you get married, you shouldn’t expect them to pay to do it. If you can’t afford to INVITE people to a celebration and feed them without presenting a bill for every finger sandwich and stuffed mushroom, don’t invite anyone! Get married and go home. An invitation to a wedding shouldn’t be a bill before services. Is it a wedding or dinner and a floor show? If it is now considered the latter by brides, they had better provide 4 star food and a well known entertainer for $200+.

[TexasBarak]

My lovely bride and I had the best wedding- her father is a minister and married us. Her sister was her maid of honor, a buddy of mine my best man. We were married under an awning (usually used to shelter motorcycles) in a friend’s back yard. She made her dress, I just put on a shirt and tie (only for the ceremony- it was July in Texas!).
The night before the wedding we had buried a pig with hot coals in our friends back yard (and had a pre-wedding party :). Next day we dug it up, got married, and then had a pot-luck reception right there in the same yard. We specifically asked all of our friends to bring their kids- one of their toddlers ended up in our wedding pictures, because he kept wanting to be with me.
It was a stinkin’ blast, and hardly cost anything. We and others still talk about it fourteen years later- our daughter is jealous because she couldn’t be there!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Gee. DH and I never asked for anything from our wedding guests except that they come and enjoy the celebration.

Some people gave us gifts, some gave us cash and some gave us the joy of seeing them.

We put on the wedding we could afford and it was a lovely day.

[Gingersnap]

You know, I’ve read about this kind of attitude but thankfully never encountered it.

I can’t even imagine why the hosts of any event would expect the guests to pay for attending. Don’t they call that “an admission fee”?

Have the wedding you can afford and let your guests enjoy themselves.

[yldstrk]

I threw a dinner for my 16 year old’s birthday; I was taken aback when one of the guests inquired how much was it going to cost to attend! What the folk ever happened to hospitality? I quickly informed her I was picking up the tab. It was a nice dinner, private room at a restaurant, printed menus, cake, salad choice of main dish, lemonade. Not for one millisecond did I expect anyone to pay and I also had no gifts on the printed invites because I did not want or need an influx of new stuff, you have to be a storage genius right now to keep track of all her stuff.

[Ted Grant]

I usually give cash, usually $250-500, depending on how close I am to the bride or groom.

I believe that people that don’t have a traditional courtship don’t get the benefits of a traditional wedding: a big, traditional wedding & reception, a more expensive wedding gift, a fancy bridal shower, or a big bachelor party.

You don’t get the benefits without bearing the burden.

I’ve been invited to white weddings where both the bride & groom had previous live-in relationships with other people. It’s absurd. In those cases I just pick a $50-60 gift from the registry and pass on the festivities.

[tbw2]

One solution is to spend less on the wedding from the commercialized fairytale - then you don’t need a lot of cash to offset the event.
Another option is to accept that people have different norms, different financial situations and simply accept their gifts with gratitude.
And these brides should appreciate that a guest may have spent hundreds of dollars to even be present at the wedding and not get in a tizzy for not receiving that much more in cash.

[informavoracious]

The article made reference to a "Doe-and-Doe" party which also took place before the wedding. I never heard of it, but urban dictionary says it is the lesbian counterpart to a "doe-and-stag" party which I also had never heard of. These parties are not the same as a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, which the bride-to-be also participates in. It is a party specifically designed to raise money for the couple. It has a larger audience than just the wedding invitees. "Guests" buy tickets in order to attend the party!

Pure unadulterated greed. I wonder how long these mercenary "marriages" last.

[rawhide]

I thought the parents of the bride sprung for the expenses. My brother shelled out thousands to give his daughter away. There was never an expectation for anyone to give any money.

[hattend]

De Filippis notes that, at weddings, “it’s understood you have to cover the cost of food per plate.”

I did not know this

I'm sorry, but isn't that what the bride's father is paying for? I had no idea he was just the Maitre d'

If this is the expectation, I'll write the check AFTER I eat the meal and pay accordingly plus I'll include the tip.

[workerbee]

A growing number write on the invitation, “Presentation” or “No boxed gifts,” to more politely imply they want cash,

Cash is my usual wedding gift, but this is crasser than crass. I would not be attending this wedding, nor would I send the "obligatory" gift in my stead. And if anyone had the temerity to complain, they'd hear exactly why.