Just wanted to add on one more thing. Your children are 6 & 2, I think. I know when our twins were smaller, I was ready to just off a ledge (well, almost!) more than once, and my husband was not much help with them at that age (from birth to about 4). She’d probably love to “fly the coop” and do some fun things with you, if they are HER definition of fun things. For instance, I don’t care for hiking with my husband (one of HIS favorite things) because he’s long-legged and won’t slow down. No fun for me. But if you can do things with her that SHE likes (and find some child care for the littles that she really trusts, so she won’t be stressed by worrying about them while you’re out on the town), that may loosen her up a little.
So arrange the child care yourself, and then do some stuff that SHE likes with her. Find or create a “special” occasion (your first date? first kiss? Full moon?) and take her out shoe shopping to celebrate, or to an art museum, or to a weepy chick flick, or to a concert, or anything that you know SHE likes. (Tip: Don’t expect any nookie afterward!!! That’s not the point of the fun expedition. It’s just to provide her with some innocent fun while in your presence, so she can remember what it’s like to have fun WITH you. The nookie will hopefully return later, when your emotional relationship is back on track again.)
Moms of little ones need some time off without their husbands, but we also need fun time WITH husbands! Both are important. If she starts getting both of these, maybe she will lighten up, and things will get better all around. Best of luck!!
I know what you mean, as a young mother I identified with my friends because we were all raising our kids and had a lot to talk about because our kids became our main focus.
One day my husband had to go out of town and wanted me to go with him. I didn’t want to leave the kids because I worked part time and was working the next day. We had a fight and he was going to go alone and I said I wished he had 4 flat tires. So I ended up going with him and no lie, we had 4 flats. We got the first one fixed before we left town, had another in the first 10 miles and used the spare, had another one at about 40 miles and an acquaintance with the same kind of wheel stopped and loaned us his spare. We made it to the next town with a low tire. It turned out that the tires were defective but I never said that I hoped anything bad would happen ever a again and I still kind of panic when others do.
While it was a harrowing day we still laugh about the incident to this day and in 42 years we’ve had a lot of crazy days.