[Elsie]

Hopefully you’ll get that hobby you recommended to us, that way we won’t have to hear about how much you don’t care about the LDS, or the Jehovah’s Witnesses, or the Scientologists, and so forth.

---

 

If you have cable TV, there won’t be much on to watch.

 

 

 

 

If there isn’t much on to watch, you will answer your door whenever someone rings.

 

 

 

 

If you open your door, you will see mormons.

 

 

 

 

If you talk to mormons, they will trick you into “praying about whether something is true”.

 

 

 

 

If you rely on your feelings, you may become a mormon.

 

 

 

 

If you become a mormon, you will have to wear magic underwear!

 

 

 

 

If you wear magic underwear, people will immediately label you as a cultist.

DON’T be a cultist!
Get DirectTV.

[Sherman Logan]

FWIW, Sikhs are required to wear “magic underwear,” and for much the same reason. The idea being that by the time you get down to removing them, it might just remind you that you’re getting ready to commit a sin.

Of course, nobody ever makes fun of the Sikh magic underwear, possibly because Sikhs are also required to carry a sword.