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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

Posted on 05/03/2013 5:53:41 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

Edited on 05/03/2013 8:43:38 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

World Press Freedom Day

When: Always on May 3rd

World Press Freedom Day recognizes the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalist have made to attain this freedom. It was created, and is sponsored, by the United Nations. While we enjoy this freedom in the United States, freedom of the press, and freedom of expression, is not a given right in many countries.  

Each year, UNESCO awards the UNESCO/Guillermo Cano World Press Freedom Prize to someone who has made a major contribution towards journalistic freedom.

World Press Freedom Day activities include UN sponsored conferences and seminars on this issue. Teachers are encouraged to create lesson plans. As individuals, we can learn more about the issues. And, we can support efforts to further freedom of the press.

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, ‘Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen a man do in my whole life.’

The Harley rider replies, ‘Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.’

The reporter says, ‘Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, you know, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?’

The biker replies, I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH




A journalist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the journalist. "How about the good job Obama is doing, even though the Republicans are blocking everything he wants to do and Conservatives keep saying the government is out to get them?" as he smiled smugly.

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The journalist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss Obama, Republicans, Conservatives or what the government is up to, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to reading her book.


When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.

A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."

The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town.

"Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."

"Actually," the man said, "I'm from Connecticut."

"In that case," the reporter said in a huff, "the headline should read, 'Yankee Kills Family Pet'.




George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.
The Washington Post : "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".
The Washington Time : "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
Mother Jones : "Bush can't swim".



How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three

One to report that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place
One to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness
And one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people.


A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor" she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

No help. He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."




TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bias; media; ofst; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

You certainly DO!!!

81 posted on 05/03/2013 12:50:03 PM PDT by ArGee (I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but they stood me up.)
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To: ArGee

82 posted on 05/03/2013 12:57:12 PM PDT by cartan
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To: ArGee

She looks like 99% of the gate clerks at PHL. Probably more courteous, however.


83 posted on 05/03/2013 1:06:55 PM PDT by llevrok (2013: America is in a cold civil war.)
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To: ArGee

http://www.moviesoundclips.net/download.php?id=3813&ft=mp3


84 posted on 05/03/2013 4:21:58 PM PDT by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Old Sarge

That’s not right!

USAF 69-73


85 posted on 05/03/2013 6:38:19 PM PDT by sleddogs
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To: Lucky9teen

“...While we enjoy this freedom in the United States...”

Oh, really?

Tell that to a conservative journalist (almost certainly unemployed).


86 posted on 05/03/2013 11:41:25 PM PDT by Jack Hammer (American)
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To: Old Sarge

Wait until you get the Air Force’s reaction to your joke about them.


87 posted on 05/04/2013 10:21:47 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (safeandlegal.com Make it viral.)
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