What Happened When The Mods Pulled My Post?

About a quart of Gin ^ | April 9 2013 | A Demented Mind

[no-to-illegals]

It’s a trap ... know Darks too well. eeeEEEEE!!!

[Darksheare]

Just finished my first cup of coffee.
I shall now attempt to assume human form.
Perhaps that is my problem?
I have my coffee first before attempting to assume human form, thus the effort is bad and the “other-ness” I have seeps out around tehcracks and edges?

[null and void]

Pretty much...

[ArGee]

Ever since Klaatu came to the planet in the 1950s the South Americans have been producing genetically modified coffee that is intended to cause other-ness to leak from non-earthbound species. It has no effect on humans. Since Klaatu had no problem looking exactly like a human, we needed some way of getting you all to expose yourselves.

Since every one of you will be invited to drink a cup of coffee at some point, you are almost certain to be exposed.

[Darksheare]

Odd, since I am also the keeper of the world’s worst coffee.

[ArGee]

It’s in the beans. It doesn’t matter how you roast or brew them.

[Darksheare]

But what’s with the zombie deer due to my coffee?
Surely that isn’t the intended outcome!

[TheOldLady]

I like your coffee just fine. Daily turning into a rotting zombie doesn’t even scare the cats anymore. They eat the pieces that fall off, but of course, once the coffee wears off, the pieces all grow back again.

I’m amazed at the resilience of my cats. All that zombie meat, and they’re healthy as can be!

[Darksheare]

They’re probably unimpressed with human antics in that case.
Cats are remarkably unflappable when they get used to something crazy.

[TheOldLady]

The zombie deer are all right. I protect them from the hunters (you know the reason why...), and
they keep the nastier vermin off the property (by eating them).

Unlike deer that have never been poisoned by your vile coUgh... I mean enhanced... yeah, that's
it... enhanced by your delicious coffee-like substance, they do not destroy the vegetation, being
carnivores.

[TheOldLady]

Indeed.

[ArGee]

Interesting quote:

Close your eyes and picture the scariest thing you can think of. Maybe it's a giant spider or a giant Stay Puft marshmallow man or something that's not even giant at all. Well, whatever it is, I guarantee it's not nearly as scary as the real scariest thing in the world. That's long-term unemployment.

That gives me a story idea. Attack of the job-sucking spiders. They jump on your head and stick their legs into your brain and suck the drive to either get a job or create a job right out of you.

Worst yet, they are hideous beasts. They look something like this:

It gives me nightmares just thinking about it.

[Darksheare]

Trespassing Idiot: “Why are these deer mobbing us? Wait, that nibbling, it tickles. What are they, uh.. uh oh.. AIIEEE!”

[Darksheare]

And they let out a warbling munchkin voice ‘Chaaaaange! chaaaaange!’

[ArGee]

Something worse than zombie deer is loose in Central Park.

[TheOldLady]

Yeeesss, well... When we had our back-up generator installed, I did have to make some... questionable deals... with the deer. You know, like, please wait until all the work and fine tuning are finished before yo... that is, uh...

I ain’t sayin’ anymore.

[Darksheare]

Ah yes, I believe the zombie murder squirrels are one of nully’s escaped projects.
On the whole, NY is improved with those things.

[Darksheare]

Workforeman: “Hey, those are some neat deer you have backin that pen. They snuffled at us and whistled the entire time.
We’re done now and.. wait.. why is that gate locked, and the pen is now open? AUGH!”

[null and void]

Ah yes, I believe the zombie murder squirrels are one of nully’s escaped projects.

It's a seasonal thing.

any season...

[Darksheare]

How did they escape?